Now for much of history, or at least from what I’ve heard all my life, humans have set certain standards for genders known as gender roles. I assume they originate from the roles in hunter-gatherer groups where they either hunted or gathered. This relationship was very codependent though as fruits/vegetables were needed as a snack in times of no meat along with gathering materials needed for tools.
With the birth of agriculture, human societies became stratified. People didn’t depend on their immediate clan at least not always. There were now different classes holding a city together. The farmers, men and women together, made food that would be bought by other civilians. The merchants traded goods back and forth, the military protected the land, the priests committed to rituals, and the king brought prosperity or devastation. It seems, from many samples across the world throughout this era, women did participate in similar activities but only exceptionally. Whether they did or did not, they did act more in the background. Like a sidekick but one that could be raped. Even the powerful girlbosses would not be revered in the same way as the Great Man. You would have to be lucky enough to be born in a matrimonial or egalitarian society.
Then came industrialization which elevated human production beyond stagnation. Every factory needed another worker, including women and children. It grew to be more likely to see, can you believe it, women in public. Disgusting. In Dicken’s time, you might catch a socialite woman at the theater with her husband or a group of rich ladies. In Lovecraft’s time, women ‘flapped’ in bars, dance clubs, and shopped frequently. On their own merit!
My point is not the liberation though. Lastly, with computerization, women cannot be avoided. On every damn site, they play every role the same as the men. Sometimes better, sometimes worse. But they exist.
So I wanted to ask, what do you think about gender roles? Have they really changed? Because there are certain gender dispositions we still continue to hold each other to. The men are strong, don’t wear skirts, and are easier for stupid comedy. The women are weak, wear skirts, and are annoying for stupid comedy. It gets even more interesting when you see what people strive for when changing sex. Sex and gender are different things of course, but while sexually transitioning, most people also try to conform to a certain gender. Transwomen will not only wear the skirts but also the makeup and aesthetic of a ciswoman. They usually are already pretty feminine (later to be defined) as well. The point of it, and it works, is that you wouldn’t even tell that they were men. That affirmation from strangers also helps solve their gender confusion. But isn’t that ridiculous…
I was thinking about this, not the gender dispositions or sexual revolutions. Now I was thinking about how in Dragon Ball, whenever Son Goku wanted to identify someone, he checked their crotch. Easy. No balls, not a problem. Yes balls, not a problem. Big thing about him, he never really treated you differently either way so it’s ironic he even cared. But I was reading up on how people make those aesthetic changes when they transition and realized Goku would not care. He is a monkey man with noooo social awareness. He does not know the difference between dudes and dudettes just by behavior. I’m not even sure he learned later on.
So why does this exist? If monkey man or anyone alien is unable to perceive what the inherit difference between bros and sisters, why does it exist? Why do they share different social roles? Why do people even get gender confused? Why do we predispose aspects to the 23x chromo haver to the 23y chromo haver?
So I tried to think about my personal biases of men and women. What do I look for in these people, whether they be my friends, authorities, or strangers? What do I pay attention to what they do?
Well, with my penis havers, I have discovered it is intelligence. Allow me to elaborate; it is not just raw information. All humans have that. It’s not how smart either. That’s different for every class of person rather than bisected by gendered. It’s more like their general intelligence.
With my vagina havers, I realized it is emotion. Nope, not just the ability to feel chemical processes. Or to express them. Not how they use them either. Just emotions in general.
But also, the split isn’t truly even based on their sex. After realizing this, I also found more nuance in it. There’s totally feminine bros that I pay more attention to their feelings and vice versa for masculine girls about their intelligence.
What do I mean though? I’ll need an example. So imagine you’re sitting at a bar with your friend. At this point, do not imagine their gender.
“One time when I was 7, I went to this big department store and there was giant rugs hanging from the ceiling and you could move them to see more rugs, so I moved one and there was an employee sitting behind it eating a bag of Doritos and I screamed and started crying and the store gave us a free rug.”
(this is stolen from a tumblr post)
So now, reread that story but with a masculine person speaking behind it. When I read it like that, I see a dude who had no type of sense in pulling the rugs. I mean, I think their hanging from the ceiling or something similar so I would think the rest might fall on you if you pull the right one. Yeah, he’s 7, but I would know that at 7. I’ve played with bed forts. Then I would laugh at his younger self’s choice to scream at the hidden employee. “Good move, you totally won that rug,” I would say congratulating him as if it were some true tactic. At the end of his story, I could give advice but this doesn’t really warrant that. So instead, I’ll compare my 7 year old reaction to his own by stating, “I would have probably just put the rug back and never go near them again (instead of screaming). Like if my parent tried to check it out, I’d get lost in another aisle, lmao”. All of my responses are underlaid with trying to understand his wisdom because that’s all I can see from him.
When I reread this story with a feminine person talking, a totally different tale is heard. Firstly, I’ll wonder what emotion moved her to pull the rug even if there is a logic behind trying to see the rest of it. I’m still thinking of the other rugs falling but not in the sense it was a dumb mistake but if it was an impulsive move. Then she’ll get to the point about crying and screaming in which I would try to empathize with her. “Yeah that would be pretty scary, just a dude sitting behind a rug. I would have probably ran away super worried. At least they were nice enough to give you a free one”. Not a hint to contrast our smarts, only words to compare our hearts.
I literally do not know where I came up with such prescriptions. It may be an inert personality thing or maybe how I viewed my parents as an infant. We are very impressionable back then. But it’s not like I completely omit a fem’s intelligence, it’s just not what I value from them. From a masc person, if their trying to tell me their feelings about a thing, I’ll still try to rationalize them or give them a word of wisdom. I want boys to be smarter it seems. With fems, instead of trying to teach them something, I’m usually sympathizing with them. I want girls to be more compassionate. Hell, I think girls like each other only if they can sympathize with each other and hate each other due to a lack of compassion. “Gay” fem boys are able to get girls more than boys (from my interpretation) and that’s why they hang around them even if they want dick. Boys will usually respect each other if they feel comparative in brain power. That’s the entire unspoken understanding for the Based Chad memes. But the Cringe Virgin is stupid and deserves no respect. Even tomboys commit to this from my understanding.
Earlier in this article, I used the words strong and weak for men and women respectively although these are societal descriptions. I actually value neither in either person. Strength, I value on a completely egalitarian sense. That’s why I ask you to do this exercise too. A little introspection because I don’t think my dichotomy could be the universal description. If you asked me for personal descriptions; the feminine person is an idiot who relies too much on their emotions for action. The masculine person is boring for the reliance on reason rather than feelings for action. It’s also a spectrum of course, the leaning of the gender…
Now I’m a pretty self aware person so it wasn’t incredibly hard for me to extract this information. If you are self aware, just try practicing with that story to find you definition on the genders. If you aren’t you’re going to have to be extra narcissistic in your next conversation with someone. Pay attention to not what they are saying but your reaction to it. This is only if you do not already have an answer but I’d like for us to all be more aware our predispositions. It may solve lots of perspective blindness in our interpersonal relationships. Maybe you see a comedic/tragic, a weak/strong, a edgy/cringe, or even a liberal/conservative dichotomy. Comment on your definition below. I want us to know these things to find the universal answer, the societal normative definition. But maybe the current one is correct…
Comedy
This deserves its own section and will probably receive a separate article later on but boy are girls unfunny. There are the exceptional women out there that kill me with a joke but well. I am unsure if it was from a tweet or some video clip but someone had said, “a girl will just describe something as the joke with no punchline”, and its ridiculously true. In casual conversation, they’ll make these regular descriptions with the tiniest irony or sarcasm and give this huge laugh. So I have to at least fake laugh a tiny bit to show them they entertained me. It’s apart of the whole sympathy thing. It sucks so much but if I’ve known her long enough, she knows I might not find her funny.
Maybe the societal definition purely comes from comedy. Not jokes themselves but how you tell it. It is a great tactical game to use certain words, clues of irony, certain exaggerations, and anything else to make a comedic statement. That’s why, earlier in this article, I described men as easier for stupid comedy. Because when they act stupider than they are for a joke, it’s a ploy. Or not even stupider but weaker, senseless, or less of themselves. Some will also say good comedy are jokes that make you feel dumber or (satire) make society dumber.
One of my friends made a tik tok of his travels with the caption “all of the places in the world that I’ve been too”. My other friend comments, “but you haven’t been in me yet?” I’m laughing right now but do you see how debased that is? And I know a good number of ‘sensitive’ readers who won’t find this funny at all. There’s no use in explaining it though, that’s just how unfunny you are.
But we’ll talk more about this later. I just wanted to posit, those who put their feelings in comedy are usually making more of a tragedy. And I’ve already coded emotions with fem if you noticed. No harm, right guys? Thank you for reading anyways….
tdwriter 