On May 14th, in the Sun State of Florida, 18 internet celebrities gathered to participate in a boxing series hosted by the one and only Ian (Idubbz)!! Now the fights were certainly something one would wish to see so this article only details my commentary of each match of which you can watch along with. I will also be referencing comments from the stadiums “Moist Critical” Charlie White, Wade Plemons, and Faze Sensei.
Matt Watson vs DAD
Now I don’t really know either of these two so I’ll speed through it in the same way this match ended. Going in, I didn’t really have a favorite but DAD definitely seemed like the more devilish one especially with the line, “I will not stop punching, never stop punching.” He then walked into the ring with incomparable energy. Slamming the ground like he was Abomination and screaming over the noise of 10,000 screaming fans Then the bell rang causing DAD to lay an undesirable bombing on poor Matt. AS the oldest competitor there, he completely surprised us with a series of punches comparable to the bombing of Dresden in WWII. The referee finally stepped in to pause the match and at this point, the judges ruled DAD the victor. This was in just over 30 seconds. He then challenged a series of other creators for a match before going “Ultimate warrior on the ropes right now. Literally insane.
Ryan Magee vs Alex Ernst
I also don’t know these two but I’ll trust Critical when he says “…Alex Ernst just by the numbers but I also saw Alex’s training video and he just wants to hurt people…” because that is absolutely the vibe I got from his face. I wouldn’t even mind rooting for Ryan either due to his broader size and since he was only other member of Supermega in the series (since Watson lost to DAD). Interestingly, these two would begin a trend for the rest of the fights between ameurteur boxers; offense only. There were no defensive moves or positions taking from Ryan or Alex. Not at least until the end of the first round when Ryan held back as the crowd cheered his name. The second round featured both fighters fatigued but not beyond will as they continued strong offensive campaigns. “Right now Ryan’s game plan is eat a ton of shots and throw meat”. Ryan nose would then bleed causing his third round to be even more reserved and yet still offensive. The two started to simply trade forward smashes which struck each other simultaneously. Then a twenty rest-and-test before Alex found his openings. In the fourth round, Alex hit a massive KO right punch leading Ryan to stumble. Irregardless, Ryan returned only to serve an equal beating between fighters. Then Ryan finally goes down after “a HUGE RIGHT HAND!” He tries to put up defensive measures but nothing can save him now. In the last round, the two again found an equal amount of beatings from each other. If you’ve seen Goku vs Majin Vegeta, that was basically a recreation of this fight. In the last 15 seconds, Ryan’s fans stole noise once more despite the two not fighting any longer. And not even anime being on Ryan’s side could help him convince the judges as they decided he lost.
Internet Comment Etiquette with Erik vs DJ Welch
Erik began his interview with Esfand worried over his innie bellybutton while Welch was being as polite as possible. (I do think Esfand carries these interviews). Now I didn’t have anyone to bet on again but Critical would note that “if this guy (Welch) was my opponent walking out this calm and this stylish, I might just call it quits on the spot and I wouldn’t even let a punch land”. Now this was the first and only interracial fight which began very different compared to the other fights. They were both very defensive, careful, and opportunists. They are both also heavyweight so hits came not often but very hard. Welch certainly held an edge in the first round and he even forced Erik to take a knee 30 seconds into the next round. Erik could hardly stand throughout this round causing him to then forfeit in between rounds. Thank God Welch won before he began to gas (wheezing mid match due to overextension) or black people everywhere (including myself) would be disappointed.
TheOdds1sOut vs I did a thing
“We are here with I did a thing, representing the entire planet of Australia,” actually causes me to fear him including the fact that this man, Alex, likes to keep the mouth guard warm, is wearing khakis, and had 2 weeks to acclimate to Tampa weather. Robert (Odd1sOut) is going to die. It is his birthday giving him that type of advantage but he may need a lot more to fight an Australian I fear. Alex began this fight with an onslaught of attacks forcing Robert into defense until he landed a strong right. Alex returned with a close up strong right causing the man to stumble. The referee continues to watch as Alex continues to torture Robert until his pale skin turns red. A one round victory potentially ruins the birthday of Odd1sout. Alex would later comment, “I think I’m just kind of shocked really. I don’t think I understood what boxing actually was, and to get into the ring with someone and actually have them hit you in the face and you hit them in the face is a terrifying thing to do!” Yeah I’m not going near Australia.
Justaminx vs Yodeling Haley
Our one and only catfight of the evening features someone I actually know, Minx! Now as Minx notes in her intro video, she definitely wasn’t in shape before her training arc (especially when compared to dancing tiktoker Haley) which I completely agree with. I was also afraid for her due Haley coming from Alamaba which is in the Deep South. This is a region of USA where brothers treat their sisters just as violently as brothers and certain families even have secret kekkei genkai which is enhanced via inbreeding. Buuuuut then again, Minx is Irish. Not pussy even Northern Irish who may hold weaker Anglo genes but deep in the heart of Dublin which is Europe’s version of Boston. About Haley, FaZe continues to note, “she’s laughing and smiling but I think she really looks forward to fighting…I mean if you’re hiding your footage, I think you’re doing it because you’re hiding something.” You know, actually, Minx has literally died before so…
The two begin the fight as offensively as possible although no punch looked too heavy. Minx then used a unseen technique of holding out on arm to keep Haley out of reach while she finds an opening to deliver a few jabs. Minx’s reach keeps her advantageous as Haley carries on with a strong defense. Then Minx wiffs another side B (a long range hook), spins, and squats as if she input a few wrong buttons. Haley ignores the taunt and lays some pressure. Minx then uses her special meter attack; Goblin Mode. In this mode, she puts on a bright green smile and just fires missiles like Israel on a Palestinian school. Haley tries to fight through it but she does not have the endurance. “and it’s just one (round)!”
The second round, Minx opens with Goblin Mode which Haley has found some counters to. They aren’t super effective as Minx keeps her cooked like a crustacean. Haley whiffs two punches giving Minx an opening for more Goblin strikes which just don’t stop. 18 hits in just 18 seconds. But now Minx begins to gas which is fine as she can keep Haley out of reach. Haley takes her chances though with some attacks. “She’s doing the same thing again! Haley- she just steps and shuffles”, Plemons notes leading me to believe her orderly Kekki Genkai cannot match Minx’s untamed Kekki Genkai. In the third round, the two meet each other energetically once more. Minx has learned to not rely on the Goblin as she drive byes Haley every two seconds. Haley launches an ultimate attack Yodeling Gatling. They then begin to trade blows simultaneously. Haley finds Minx’s defensive weakness allowing her to land another combo until Minx clinches her. Minx hits with a huge right hand but Haley’s resilience pushes Minx into one corner but Minx does not lose so easily. In round 4, the two begin with a labored series of punches on each other. Their timing is in sync and their hits bring the weight of elephants. Minx catches Haley against the ropes and unleashes the Serpentine Goblin (a series of strong hooks) winning her the entire fight. Haley is left shocked and appalled.
Hundar vs AB
Okay back to not knowing the fighters. Actually, I know Brett Hundar from Cow Chop (now dead) but I did not watch that specific channel. So Hundar has always seemed like a big guy to me. And he’s now he’s in Muscle Party? Surprised if he loses. As for “Starkiller” AB of the H3H3 Podcast, he looks smaller but not weak in anyway. Then the man uses Mom’s Spaghetti as his walk-in music so I’m suddenly hoping he doesn’t die. The first round begins with a lot of testing between the two. Hundar is a bit relaxed, only instigating when necessary. AB is also unable to land any big hits on Hundar with his Admiral Yi like defenses. Finally, he’s able to land a big left during a clash but we all move on. The first round is over with a high level of professionalism as Plemons notes. The second round features quick jabs from AB as he relentlessly tries to find an opening. Hundar either punches these punches, weaves skillfully, or out right blocks. The crowd cheers, “Twist his dick” which is notably illegal in boxing. One interesting thing is that Hundar had be able to keep a strong neutral position meaning that he was furthest from the ring’s edge. AB would walk around along the ropes which just made me realize something. “So I’m thinking maybe the strategy from Hundar here is to just let AB tire himself out cause he’s moving so much” -Critical. Brilliant move Hundar.
Third round, they repeat their positions and AB repeats his jabs until Hundar sends him to the ground with a forward smash. The two of them now share the middle which seems bad considering that “AB drops Hundar with a big right hand!” Hundar then lays more pressure throughout this round and it seems AB is beginning to gas. Backed against a corner, Hundar leaves AB with just baby jab. Fourth round, the duo play some patty cake in the middle although neutral is still leaning Hundar. FaZe points out that AB is for sure going to be needing a new gas tank for his jab attacks but I’m worried the man wants to keep pacing on the ropes. By now, AB’s attacks put his full energy into them and they are hardly jabs. He is able to lay damage but Hundar remains largely unfazed. AB then clinches Hundar for a good five seconds. Hundar meets him later with an offensive campaign ending this round with a right jab to his body. In the final round, Hundar treats AB like his own son. AB finally gets Hundar on the ropes but only in a clinch in whichthe referee makes him let go. After this break, Hundar continues his offensive against the defenseless AB. So finally, like the Russians relying on winter, Hundar wins this battle of attrition.
Michael Reeves vs Graham Stephan
Both fighters are 5’3″, this is literally a mini fight. Now I have seen some Reeves content and I believe he has the heart to kill someone with no regrets. Stephan, and this might be considered offensive due to recent events (or in general), looks like a school shooter. It’s the hairlines, the paleness of his face, and he actually looks quite young at 30. It’s so funny seeing Esfan towering over Michael lmao. In the first round, the two do a lot of test jabs until Graham finds rooms to combo. He pushes Michael into a corner despite the cheering crowd and so he finds an escape. Graham then holds Michael against the rope to lay two jabs. Michael shoves off head swiveling for the first time in this series. Michael then lands three jabs but Graham ruins their power by retreating each time. Fuck, even the ref is towering over them. In the second round, Michael finds himself in an unfortunate position which actually gives him an advantageous strong right to Graham’s face pushing the man back to neutral. Michael lays some convincing pressure before backing up against the ropes again. This is insane, the man weaves under one punch and weaves again as if to taunt Graham. The two then find distance between each other only lay in jabs and it seems Michael landed more than graham. After a strong right from Graham, Michael goes neutral and lands a massive forward smash bouncing Graham off the ropes. Another one, another one, and the ref stops it. And so Michael Reeves is declared winner.
Harley Morringstein vs “Egoraptor” Arin Hanson
A heavyweight match between a Canadian and a Floridian. Critical says about Harley, “that man is outrageously huge, like ridiculously huge. He’s gonna take up this entire ring himself. It is scary!” I have seen Arin here and there so I’m quite surprised to see him here. In preparation for this, he has only eaten chicken and vegetables but wants to go back to a beer-based diet. Do you see what I mean? Then the man uses a Ram Ranch track as his intro music. If he loses, it’s just embarrassing. Harley comes in wearing a pirate-esque outfit covering very small nipples. Okay. First round, Harley is able to land a series of attacks but Arin finds a way out for some counter attacks. Arin then clinches Harley and it almost looks like he was setting up for a throw so the ref breaks them. Nice weaving from Arin allows him to land a few attacks. Harley lands a heavy hit on the top of Arin’s ducked head. Arin lays an onslaught of attacks that Harley seems to just ignore. It’s like fighting Wilson Fisk, his size just eats damage. Second round, Arin lands some lighting jabs while Harley assaults with hammers from up high. A strong right hook from Harley surprises me as Arin just walks it off. Harley finds a breakthrough in Arin’s defenses allowing him to nuke the man with 18 heavy handed attacks. Harley is decidedly the winner.
Ian vs Dr. Mike
And now it was time for the main event, Ian (IDubbz) from IDubbz vs Doctor Mike. According to Critical, Mike has been training for years and he expects him to act reckless. Ian still uses his old music for his video, that gave me a flashback. Now Ian was just some frail dude in a greensuit so I wondered why he started this event if he didn’t have the slightest chance of winning. First round, Ian punches like his body is on fire while Mike has taken full possession of neutral. The both of them have the same reach so Ian has to settle for moving in for a few quick jabs and perhaps the strong straight punch he relies on. Mike delivers a strong right hook on the back head and then a clinch from Ian. Mike punches Ian into a corner. Ian holds on and suffers another blow.
Second round, Mike opens with a slightly disrespectful punch on the glove touch. Ian is stuck again moving along the ropes but Mike is not as still as Hundar was back in his fight. Ian blocks a uppercut and then lands a few body blows. Mike is seemingly able to find just the moment after Ian drops shield and before he attacks to land good hits. This way once Ian is in a corner, Mike finds room for two strong rights so Ian retreats to land a few jabs. It does not seem to matter about Ian’s agility as Mike has homing attacks allowing even the weakest of jabs shake Ian’s face. Ian unleashes his specialty triple strong straight combo before Mike prescribes two strong hooks that have piercing damage that negates Ian’s defensive wall. If Ian was fighting anyone else in this series, his defense would make him untouchable.
Third round, Ian keeps his distance during the glove touch and seems more reserved in his attacks. Mike quickly replaces his old presence by going on an unprotective but ranged offensive. Ian then gets Mike against the ropes and release another three peat. Ian’s newfound pressure puts Mike back on the defensive and Ian has also seemed to find a defense against Mike’s never-miss counters. Two clinches in a row. Ian eats a powerful straight right. And then another hook. Ian then stalls with a third clinch. As the bell rings, Ian finds room to land a few body jabs but he is absolutely gassing out.
Fourth round, I don’t know how Ian is going to last. He gives Mike the room to land some piercing attacks until Ian fights him off. Mike delivers a party-rocking straight to the head and then and jab to the body. Ian seems to have boosted his agility as we start seeing lots of head movement to get around the can’t miss Mikes. Another clinch. Uncomfortable amount of pressure coming from neutral Mike. Another clinch. BIG WEAVE from Mike forcing Ian to crouch. Mike then delivers a merciful left and right hook. They punch each other away. Another shared punch before Mike starts to beat his meat. I was going to say that at some point in this article.
Final round, Ian begins with a few jabs and Mike reminds him that despite his guards, these punches will sting. A strong right hook from Mike. Ian goes turtle mode again for a few more jabs. He dodges what could have been a devastating Mike hook. Last minute, the both of them seem to be gassing out but Mike is in much better shape. Ian lands a two punch which causes Mike to clinch him for the second time in the entire fight. Blood covers Ian’s right cheek. The two approach…Ian begins a beating but it cannot last long enough as Mike holds him. The two are unbelievably desperate. Mike just drops his guard as he attacks helmet head Ian who counters with a body blow and strong right hook to the face. Mike immediately strikes back with a badly aimed right hook. Mike then weaves under an Ian straight but misses his counter hook. Ian misses one punch but his left connects to Mike’s neck setting up for Ian’s straight right. The clock ding dings.
By very close margins (50-45, 50-45, 49-46), Doctor Michael Morbius is declared the winner. Myself? Of course, I declare Ian as winner.
The event was used to donate money for the Alzheimer’s Association. American Heart Association, and the Healing Horse Therapy Center as well as also getting sponsored by Fansly. So go support them I guess. I have to say, it was fun documenting the matches as I literally watched them simultaneously. It was also fun seeing the fighting styles these amateurs naturally fell into after training just for a few months. From overtly offenses, to straight reliance, hook alliance, special modes, overtly defensive, neutral hogging, and tanking; we have seen it all. I am now afraid of DAD, Minx, Matthew Reeves, and most certainly Ian. Actually, most afraid of Minx. Like she was smiling while beating up a 19 year old. Oh and she’s Irish.
tdwriter 