Mercs for Hire
11 AM
By now, Rhino had completely disappeared from public sightings which surprised Spider-Man. Back to his regular day job as Daily Bugle photographer Peter Parker. In the time that Luke went to find breakfast and head downtown, Namor finally reached Hogarth’s office. Jessica had headed for Luke’s barber place but since no one was there, she headed back to her apartment. That’s of course when Hogarth called her into her office for a job. With a loud groan, Jessica would appear at her office around 11:20. Jessica was walking in at the same time that Namor was walking out. They passed by each other in the large reception room. Jessica was freaked out by his appearance but was going to continue walking.
Namor instead stopped and turned towards her. “I have already walked by you today.”
Jessica turned to say, “Yeah and it doesn’t matter,” she then continued to walk away.
Namor looked at his forearm which had the list of targets written there. “What is your name?”
“None of your business!’ Jessica then left the room slamming the door.
The receptionist then said, “she’s probably Jessica Jones, the PI needed for your case. Since you want to bring in the Rhino and all.”
“Ah Jessica. Thank you, kind lady.”
Jessica stormed into Hogarth’s office like always. “What do you need me for now lady?”
“I mean you could at least be conversational to the man outside.”
In disbelief, she replied, “No way…”
“He’s Namor. Called himself King of the Sea. Anyways, he promised me at any price to bring the Rhino to trial. I normally would have said no but he did say he would pay me anything.”
Again, “No way…”
In the other room, Namor let go of his staff which can stand perfectly straight on the ground. He thought out loud, “okay first kill Jessica Jones. Then rob bank. Or first rob bank and then kill Jessica Jones after she captures the Rhino…”
Hogarth continued saying to Jessica, “I am hoping you can call up some of your super friends so you can deliver this lawsuit to him. I’m about to finish writing it so wait a minute. You don’t even have to capture or defeat him. Just make him understand that he’s going to court.”
Defiant she replied, “No way…”
Namor now got closer to the door so he heard the last sentence and decided, “I should kill her the moment he receives the suit. Then I’ll also kill her ally, whichever Defender she chooses. I’ll rob the bank afterwards.”
The receptionist then watched as Namor simply dashed out the window falling several stories. Hogarth finished saying, “he also wanted a trial done tomorrow so I advised him to move his money to convince the judge of such a thing despite the possible level of publicity.”
“HOGARTH. Why are you defending that guy? Is he even a US citizen?”
“I just said he’s the King of the Sea and that I am doing it for his money!! You want a cut, I’ll give you a piece. I’m bleeding him dry.”
“Oh my god. Whatever. Spider-Man should have caught him by now.”
“Well he didn’t so that’s why I’m calling you.”
“UGH!”
Then a couple minutes later, as Luke passed by the Greenwich Village, Deadpool decided to stop. Bullseye hopped to the next rooftop but then stopped and turned. “What are you doing?” He asked.
“I’m going to go visit your doctor. I know a guy in there but he’s creepy. Not because he’s black.”
“One of us still needs to follow Luke.”
“Just slow him down with this,” DP tossed a ticking microphone to Bullseye.
Bullseye then tossed it over his shoulder. It bounced off the side of a building and then fell directly onto Luke’s (rented) car and exploded.
“What the fuck?”
“I thought you were going to wow him with your grunty voice!”
“You handed me a bomb.”
“Forgeddaboutit! Let’s go visit the wizard.”
So they dived down to the street where they stood before a large blue roofed building. There was a circular window on the second floor. It had two arcs going down and one arc going across.
“This is the house of the local witch doctor,” Bullseye said. “I never met him but you have?”
“Nope. I need to kill Strange too but I wanna talk to the creepy black one.” A pause. “oh he’s not black because he’s creepy, it’s actually the other way around.”
“Lead the way.”
So the mercenary duo snuck into the mansion; running past booby (DP giggled) traps, inspecting magic items, and steering clear of the random demons. Finally, they found the room of “Brother Voodoo”.
Jericho Drumm is a necromancer and otherwise sorcerer on a similar level to that of Doctor Strange. He is from Haiti and used to tout a zombie army. He usually only helps Strange under favors and is a testy ally in the same way Clea is (because she doesn’t care for this planet like Strange does).
Drumm was sleeping in his coffin as he does in the daytime. The windows in his room were blackened. There were a few standing corpses around the room as if standing guard. The mercs could not make out any other decorations.
The two stood over the sleeping Haitian for a minute. Drumm slept in a purple robe. Then DP punched him into the stomach and the man yelped in great pain.
“My brother,” DP announced. Then he told Bullseye, “that’s the cool way to say it without testing anyone.”
Drumm flew up into the air. He muttered to himself in creole before he finally asked them “what are you two doing here!?”
“We need an arm and a leg!”
“I don’t just give out body pieces to random people who wake me up.”
“Okay so we’ll buy an arm and a leg. His are just broken so I was hoping you could hook a brother up.” Then DP turned to Bullseye to say, “see I made me sound cool there at the end.”
“Not entirely how my powers work, stranger. Are you immortal?”
“Who, me? I mean I’ve tested it. It’s a yes!”
Drumm equipped a glowing machete and clean chopped off Deadpool’s right arm and right leg. He ripped off the same side for Bullseye’s broken parts. Bullseye had more mass than Deadpool but since only the bones were broken, Drumm swapped the bones from DPs parts to Bullseye. Then Bullseye’s right side was reinstated.
Bullseye felt his arm and legs improved. He swung his arm in a windmill and it felt much more powerful than before. He turned and kicked a corpse, shattering it. He tried the same kick with his regular leg and only broke a corpse in some parts. What is Deadpool?
In this quiet moment for Bullseye, Deadpool was on the floor endlessly screaming at maximum volume. Drumm told him, “I will keep your flesh. You can regrow your own.” He continued screaming. Drumm warped them out to the street.
Bullseye asked him, “why’d you do this?”
“I just did as you asked. It’s not going to backfire on me. Begone from here.”
Bullseye nodded. DP shouted, “I CAN’T EVEN WALK!”
Luke would shrug off the explosion of his car. No one got hurt. With his black hood up, he jogged down the main street. He was faster than regular people so it would take some effort from Bullseye to catch up especially with carrying DP on his back. Bullseye also had to struggle with balancing how much power he asked of his right leg until he realized skipping eliminates the imbalance.
11:50
“Okay, so the Rand building is the last picture for now. Then we got to start killing some heroes,” Logan said.
“Yup. But I was hoping we’d see one of them run around. You know, since they have a bit of an official team, it’s best if we do the killings as privately as possible. Even if we find someone, we should follow them to a lonely spot. Otherwise, they’ll try to team up.”
“Good thinking Kwannon.”
The Rand Corporation originally started as an investment firm between Wall Street fodder Wendall Rand and Harold Meachum. It is now a multi-billionaire multi-faceted corporation run by their sons Ward Meachum and Danny Rand. This would be the first time Luke Cage stepped into the building. He pulled down his hood and walked in after someone else, feeling only a tad awkward. Bullseye stopped in the wide sidewalk chuck full of business suits. There was another skyscraper across the street that he could use for sniping.
The receptionist looked at the underdressed Luke Cage in shock. “Uh, how can I help you?”
“I need to find Danny Rand.”
“Uh well he is president, he should be awfully busy. Did you schedule an appointment?”
Luke closed his eyes in pain for a moment. Then he said, “just call him. Say it’s Cage.”
The receptionist checked a page on her computer and she replied, “There’s no appointment for a ‘Cage’. But I can try to find time for you.”
Luke facepalmed calmly. Then he remembered what Collen used to say, “you’re not so cold when you smile”. So he smiled at the receptionist, leaned in, and said, “please, it’s for a company emergency. I’m one of his advisors.”
The lady blushed and giggled at herself. Then she picked up the phone saying, “let’s see what I can do.”
On the rooftop of the other building, Bullseye was going through Deadpool’s guns as he found DP’s duffel bag in the corner on the rooftop. “Why was this even here?” he wondered out loud. Deadpool was asleep now, quietly humming showtunes to himself, his right limbs have quarterway healed. Bullseye finally found a sniper rifle.
Danny was in a meeting right now but as with so many of them, he was so bored. He owns 49% of the company after Ward bought 2% off of him. Ward still asks for Danny’s assistance against the other board members who disapprove of the sworn brothers. Some inventor was presenting his little doodad to the board. Ward doesn’t understand a bit of high end science but he took notes on what practical measures could be profited on. He finished a line and looked over at the king of boredom, Danny Rand. His face was pale, his eyes droopy, and his ears closed in. Danny had his hands on the desk flicking a small rolled up paper ball between each hand.
Ward started muttering in his head, you simpleton. Your opinion will matter in the post-discussion, why aren’t you paying attention to the simplest of mechanics of this machine? I promised you chow mein!!!
Danny then reached into his pocket as his phone vibrated. He looked directly at Ward as if for permission. Unfortunately, Ward had constrained into the ugliest meanest face known to man. Danny put down his phone while whistling and looking away.
“Oh. I’m so sorry, he didn’t answer. He might still be in that meeting…It should be over in ten minutes.”
Luke looked around. He noticed a security guy. “Can he escort me to Danny’s office? I’ll just wait there.”
“Oh really? Uh, Brandon! Come over.”
“What seems to be the problem?” Brandon asked looking up and down at Cage as he clutched his taser.
“Let me get a different security guard,” Luke said.
The receptionist said, “Mr. Cage here just needs to see Danny. He wants you to escort him to the office.”
“Hmph. Sure. If you try anything-”
“Man, that’s why I asked for an escort. So you could trust me. Let’s go up already.”
Brandon rolled his eyes and then walked towards the staircase. Luke walked in but looked back at the elevator. Then he looked up at the countless flights of stairs. “We seriously have to go up this way?”
Brandon responded, “unfortunately, his office is only accessible through this stairway. He likes to use it for his daily jog. Thinks elevators ruin his fitness.”
“Of course he fucking does.”
“Deadpool! Wake up! Finish healing! I don’t think this is the correct side of the building! I scanned all the windows and I couldn’t see Luke Cage…”
Twenty minutes later, Danny walked into his office where Luke and Brandon were waiting. Luke was looking out the window while Brandon was basically holding his taser. “Whoa what’s going on?”
Luke turned around, “Danny, we need to speak alone. It’s about Colleen.”
“Oh, uh Brandon, you’re good to go. Thanks for whatever.”
Brandon stepped to Danny and whispered to his ear, “you trust him?”
“Yeah, he’s one of my best friends.”
“…oh. Okay.” Brandon walked out scratching his head.
“What’s up with Colleen? I haven’t seen her in a while.”
“She’s on another mission with Misty. They are investigating this group called the Serpent Society and she wants to meet us at Rikers tonight.”
“Whoa! Confirmed, let’s take them out.”
“She’s going to be in costume among them so she won’t attack until we do. I say we be quiet though, their boss may be in Rikers and I want to find out who.”
“Got it!”
Suddenly the wall busted open with Deadpool and Bullseye flying through. They had shot themselves over with a human slingshot (packed in the duffle bag of course) and Deadpool’s plot convenient aiming. They hit the floor hard groaning from flying through about 3 feet of concrete. Danny and Luke looked on in a frozen state. DP got up first, on his knees. The bones of his right hand and foot were still growing. “We come in peace,” he muttered.
Bullseye now considered that Deadpool was, peak retarded. But the madman’s cells were working as the adrenaline instantly recovered Bullseye’s body. BE and DP stood up simultaneously. Danny and Luke braced themselves. “You’re the Iron Fist right?” DP asked.
Danny nodded and took his fighting stance. “Serpents?”. Luke shook his head.
Bullseye ejected the clip on the sniper rifle and then placed each bullet in between his fingers while the rest fell in his pocket. He raised his hands up behind him and then brought them down, tossing the bullets at lethal speeds. Danny activated his golden aura armoring himself so the bullets slowed their entry into arms and chest. They were lethal no longer. DP crossed the room wielding his swords and trapped Luke’s neck between them.
“Huh” he said before kicking DP’s chest sending DP back across the room. Danny’s fists shined gold as he charged at BE. We miscalculated. Why the fuck is he glowing? BE swerved to the right of a straight punch and tossed a bullet into Danny’s cranium. Danny screamed as it entered his skull but BE’s bullets usually go no deeper than bone. Danny turned and threw his southpaw in an uppercut. BE’s head entered the ceiling. BE pushed himself out. Some debris fell before his feet which he kicked. The dust and pebbles were kicked into Danny’s eyes stunning him for a moment. Danny flushed his eyes with aura to clean them but then was roundhouse kicked by BE who then threw two more bullets. Charging his fists with auras, he punched straight to reflect them. They flew past BE on either side. “Miss”. BE picked up a rock from the destroyed wall and threw it for Danny’s right shoulder which Danny guarded perfectly. Then BE fired bullets into his left quads. Danny pained again thinking my ryou is still bad. Bullseye thought, he can’t switch sides faster than I throw. With great speed, Danny charged 100% of his aura into a right hook, “IRON FIST”. BE guarded with his DP arm. He was still smashed into a wall and in great pain but this arm could heal.
Meanwhile, Luke had stepped on DP’s chest and stomach to start beating DP’s face. He stopped for a moment to see BE fly by him. Then he asked DP, “want to quit?”
“Never quit! Trust in the process!”
Luke twisted both of DP’s arms. “Why can you take so much damage?”
“AAAHHHHHH UHUAAAAAAAAAHH!”
Bullseye fell out of his frame on the wall. How insulting. Here was this obviously more powerful enemy but Fisk always stuck me with Daredevil missions instead. Was Iron Fist evidently less dangerous than the Devil? He muttered, “Who did you fight?” but Danny didn’t answer.
Luke stepped off of DP and walked towards BE. Danny came closer too so BE was getting backed into the corner with the broken wall. He tossed a bullet at Luke which easily bounced off. Danny punched his own palm with both hands glowing. “Why don’t you quit too?”
Bullseye tossed five bullets at Luke’s face. Luke just closed his eyes in annoyance but they bounced off into Danny’s neck. Two of the bullets were able to exit his as well. Luke angrily charged at BE who instead dived under Danny’s legs and threw him out the building. Luke dived to catch Danny’s hand. Now they hung on the ledge. Danny’s neck was gushing blood. Using his enhanced arm, Bullseye threw Luke off the building. 40 stories up, Luke looked at the busy street in fear. Bullseye turned around saying, “hit”.
Then Deadpool stood up, sword in hand, and dashed out screaming, “I need to be the one who kills!” He fell straight down in perfect form to catch up. As he did, he sang, “sing with me, sing for the year”.
“Danny wake up, you need to do something before we hit someone.” Danny’s blood spread through the air. He seemed to be fading in and out. Luke turned his back to the ground and held Danny on top of himself.
Then Deadpool appeared. “Sing for the laughter and sing for the tee-ar.” He chucked one sword into Danny’s crotch. Luke ripped it out and held the sword up. “Sing with me if it’s just for today.” Deadpool disarmed Luke with one swing of his sword. He also blew up a grenade above him to close in even more. He raised his sword above his head preparing for a downward slash. “Maybe tomorrow, the Lord will take you awaaaaaaaaaaay.” They crashed into the street luckily not hitting a car but the cars would have to dangerously swerve around the sudden crater.
Logan and Kwannon were at the other corner of the intersection. She took the picture but then turned around a bit mad that Deadpool amazingly photo-bombed it.
Bullseye came out of the staircase to the main lobby. He had several more bullets that he decided to murder the room with. First went to the receptionist and then several security guards. Some brave souls ran up to fight Bullseye but the furniture he threw took care of them. There were several explosions outside. When Bullseye stepped out, Deadpool jumped out of the hole. He looked at one of DP’s swords in a trash can. Picking that up, he looked over at an angry Luke Cage’s whole clothes were burnt by the explosions. Deadpool, standing between several stopped cars, pointed his sword at Luke. “En garde my nigga.”
“Deadpool!” Bullseye shouted. “Did you kill Iron Fist?”
“No I fucking didn’t! I sang that beautiful requiem but ‘Sweet Christmas’ over here blocked his neck. Then I tried to blow them up but I can still hear him breathing! He’s at the bottom of that stinking hole.”
Bullseye stood on the edge of the sidewalk. There were two cars sitting in front of him. He said, “Deadpool, this is your arm. This is your sword. This is your kill.” Bullseye threw the katana in a curved arc around the cars which hit Luke’s back to easily deflect in a straight line into Danny’s forehead. “Hit,” Bullseye and Deadpool said simultaneously. Luke looked back at first a bit annoyed and then totally shocked to see his possibly killed friend. All because of…
“Now we run,” Deadpool said. The mercenaries dashed up the street passing by all the traffic. Logan and Kwannon dropped their jaws. Ward made it to the bottom floor seeing the carnage left behind. Luke picked Danny’s head. He checked his breathing repeatedly and slowly took out the katana. Civilians started taking photos and then Ward appeared. He looked at Luke’s tearful face and immediately fell over into the hole.
1 down, eleven to go.
Deadpool and Bullseye were still running now in the sewer system. “Cowabunga, I knew Luke had like hard skin or whatever but my swords are Japanese relics. I thought that shit could cut him! IT DIDN’T!”
“How are you supposed to kill him?”
“I have a teammate with God-like metal claws so maybe he can do Luke. Since you killed goldilocks for me, let’s go take care of Daredevil.”
“Yes!”
“What do we do, Logan?” They stared at Ward and Luke crying over Danny in the crater.
“Like you said, we’ll wait for Luke to find a quiet lonely place. And hell, I want to see the city’s counterattack.”
tdwriter 