Comedy of Art
Morgans announced from his high seat, “good morning Finzione! You are in the midst of a great Davy Back Fight between the ex-Beast Pirate Crew and the Cross Guild! In the red corner we have Worst Generation members, ‘Roar of the Sea’ Apoo and ‘Mad Monk’ Urouge. In addition to them are Queen the Plague, “Who of the Droplets’ Habdurra, and the monstrous Inbi from the Beast Pirates and lastly are the Vinsmokes royal family of Germa 66! In the blue corner we have ex warlords ‘Hawkeye’ Mihawk and Sir Crocodile in addition to ‘Master’ Caesar, ‘Ghost Princess’ Perona, ‘Kira’ Daz Bonez, ‘Loan Shark’ Galdino, ‘Iron Mace’ Alvida, Cabaji the Acrobat, Mohji the Beast Tamer, and the ‘Clown Emperor’ BUGGY!” Loud cheers from the crowd. Mohji teased Cabaji about getting named next to Buggy. “I guess my workout really worked out”. Morgans continued, “what a very colorful crew! Now this battle will consist of three rounds of which the first is most important to us in the audience. This round, we will vote on the best full crew performance. Everyone on the crew!” Mihawk shuddered. “Apoo, begin whenever you’re ready!”
The room darkened and suddenly spotlights shined in the middle of the room. Music started to get played as Queen sand “zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom. If I get thinner I’ll get all the hoes. So I don’t get thinner, that’s my kind of funk!” In unison the Beast team did the Queen dance, even Inbi. Lights flash and fans cheered. “I may look chubby but its all muscle. I can sing and dance, that’s my kind of funk! Alright Finzione! We’ve owned over the last 15 years and there’s no stopping that now! You’ll enjoy plenty of laughs without that joke of an emperor! Here it from the man himself, Apoo!”
Queen and Apoo switched places with dj table and center stage. Now Apoo began his rap, “check it out, we got this low class clown named Buggy. Streets said he got no hoes cuz he be smelling ugly. He’s fodder, its ridiculous, you do one prison escape and everyone thinks you the realness. I know all about your pursuits, your loss against Luffy and your loss against his boot. You ain’t get a bounty for years and now you have the marines drowning in tears. But your façade is fading, your squad is laming, the applaud is waning, and everything about your flawed up pirate hood will be left in Davy Jones’ locker draining!” Mic drop and the crew roared in primal excitement.
Daz picked up Buggy’s charred remains, commenting “he’s roasted”, off the ground while Perona dried Alvida’s tears. “That was straight fire,” Morgans commented with smoking rising off his head, “I- I- I don’t know how they’ll follow that up. Can we hear from the audience one more time?” and they cheered very loudly.
Crocodile stated, “this may be intimidating but our routine is ready.”
“No, we’re cooked,” Caesar said.
Then Heyritten stood up, “not funny, did not laugh!” The room silenced and he sat down.
“Whose side is he on?” Apoo asked.
“Right, we’re here to bring laughter and cheer,” Buggy stated.
All the lights turned on but then smoke suddenly covered the room. Caesar’s voice echoed, “introducing the craziest circus in the world!” The smoked instantly dispersed showing Buggy sitting on a throne of bones. The Buggy crewmen already started cheering. From a shadowy corner a horrifying looking Richie charged at Buggy chomping him into pieces. Mohji came in on a cloud (made by Caesar) and whipped at Richie to eat Buggy again but Buggy simply reassembled. Then he took out a muggy ball and bowled it into Richie’s mouth. Mohji acted scared and the two exploded into a cloud of dust which soon blew away. Then the room darkened and a spotlight shown onto a waxy slide. At the top was Alvida with her mace. She slide down the wax did and few midair cartwheels through rings of fire before landing on a split and fire exploding around her. Cabaji came down on his unicycle juggling five swords and cutting the rings apart while juggling. Lastly Daz came down the slide on spinning blades. He flipped through the air spreading sparks all over leaving a path of fire. The three then surrounded Buggy and cut at him to no avail! Then he honked his nose and they all exploded into dust. Then Buggy waved at the crowd who cheered at him while a giant ghost started to grow behind him. Buggy nervously turned around and it exploded! Smoke cleared and then Buggy reformed. Smoke and sand started to swirl around him as he rose into the air in a big blue robe. Spotlights shinned on his previous attackers, “I am the great wizard Buggy! You all tried to kill me only to find out that I am immortal and of course, I am the second Great Pirate King! My haki is second to none! Bow down for forgiveness!” And they thought about it but then Caesar came in and smashed a pie on his face. Buggy then said, “Tada! Immortality is overrated!” The crowd burst into laughter.
“BARBARBARBARBAR, now that is a classic. I love that line! ‘Immortality is overrated’. Of course, we all want to die and be forgotten eventually!”
Apoo and Queen shared a glance. Morgans applauded, “kwahahahaha, how very poetic from the emperor. Let’s hear it from the audience,” and the noise completely overwhelmed what they had given to Apoo. “Well there we have it, the Cross Guild take the first round!”
“Wooooooo!” cheered Buggy’s gang.
Crocodile turned to Mihawk, “wait, where were you? You missed the whole performance.”
“I was in the bathroom. Did you guys start without me? What a shame…”
“Liar!”
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