the Ken-Year Chronicle

You must be Julying

Tweet Limit Reached: Muskovite Twitter would have many reforms during the first year although few seemed permanent. They would almost always be reversed or just not even placed in after an announcement. If you logged in a day after a reform, tweeters would looked paranoid to you because nothing had actually changed while they complained about changes. So there have been even a few reforms that I didn’t take note of because they didn’t fucking matter. One such proposed reform was to shorten time spent on the app by giving every twitter user a limit on how many they could read. I forget the number but it was something like 600. That’s right, the app only wanted you to see 600 tweets per day. And according to some, it would include replies and any tweet that your phone screen can fit. So some calculated that a casual user would only last just over an hour if they were straight scrolling. First of all, what could you possibly be doing reading 600 tweets per day? I’m lucky to hit 100 on a bedridden day, to be honest. Of course, maybe you guys follow way more people or are way more invested in the communities there. So with the rumors, people started to hate on it and point out that Musk is continuing to ruin the site. The day came to implement it and people started to meme about the limit or tweet about their fear of reaching it. I went scrolling for as long as I did. As I could, really, there isn’t that many tweets to keep refreshing. It never happened. I could keep going. I was boundless. By the way, it was never mentioned how the app would react to reaching the limit. The next day, nobody was talking about it. In due time, it seemed like it never happened in the first place. Musk was just feeding paranoia. Many such cases.

Not even related but Twitter has a kind of new thing since Covid. It started in 2021 but most people only noticed it this year. “Community Notes” is a community service of 100,000 users that decide to correct or simply point out incorrect tweets. They do this on an algorithm but the Noters are real people in a giant GitHub. Whenever someone tweets a lie, they show up as an add-on to the tweet trying to give correct information. People quickly took this as a red flag, if you get community noted, you basically committed a mortal sin. But they are fallible as they sometimes note obvious joke tweets or don’t give the best info. They are at least more powerful than Elon as he has been unable to thwart them after getting noted several times.

Introducing the Las Vegas Sphere: slightly postponed by the Covid Saga, the Sphere is a large monument to our current point in history. It is a perfect dome of steel which would serve as an advancement for digital display. On both the outside and inside, there would be many screens to display whatever could be wanted. On the inside was an auditorium for concerts and the like, the shape of the dome gives it a unique lightning atmosphere from the clips I’ve seen. The outside screens would serve basically as an attraction in itself. One time, they displayed the surface of mars, there was a period they had a silly yellow face react to cars passing by, and most nights it just flashes pretty colors. The inherent shitposting of such a monument would be well appreciated by twitter and so the company, Populous, has a desire to open more around the country. Considering I don’t care to gamble, I would visit Nevada’s oasis of wealth just to see this thing. 

the Adam22 Reacharound: “No Jumper” Adam Grandmaison is a pornstar along with his wife Lena the Plug. He originally started his career on Youtube with a podcast interviewing upcoming rappers called No Jumper. He more recently met Lena and so they started a porn career, around 2017. They would be fairly recognizable to anyone interested in that sphere but people outside were completely unaware as they weren’t Riley Reid popular. I will mention, Lena won a Pornhub award, for Celebrity of the Year. I will also mention he has been accused of sexual assault but that doesn’t matter here. At the same time, the two started a show interviewing other pornstars. Now, the two went for a reacharound marketing trick that got way more than the necessary attention. First, he sealed the deal on marrying Lena. Celebrating this publicly, people outside of his circle investigated just his wife finding out she’s a pornstar. For this, they called him a cuck. For the next 24 to 48 hours, he was recognized as a cuck. There would be many tweets making fun of his cuckold position and how ran through Lena was. The marketing trick for Adam was to lean to it, extending the lifespan of the meme. Adam would not defend his cuckery and some sources say he made a few posts citing how much of a cuck he was. The meme continued to rise in popularity until he was more infamous for cucking himself rather than the 6 years of porn he made with Lena. If any mythology in the past confuses one of these dumb or young tweeters, first they must understand that they believed this one. After the meme died, Adam literally went back to posting regular porn. Same for Lena. Also, it would seem anyone who has to believe in this myth simply also didn’t know about open relationships. At this point, despite how loud the meme was, I think everyone involved was 15.

Threads by Meta: For the last few months, with Elon Musk owning Twitter, his billionaire rival Mark Zuckerberg looked over to cause tension from his Metaverse. Metaverse is an empire he started back in 2004 with Facebook and then later the acquisition of Instagram in 2012. Facebook continued to expand, taking over Whatsapp, Oculus, and dozens of other smaller companies. Eventually, Zuckerberg became a billionaire while the Muskrat received his funds from birth as a diamond noble. All summer, Musk and Zuckerberg would be using the option “Send an Insult” to tease a boxing match at each other. I did not get to see the insults thrown but it caused public speculation of a fight against two oldheads. The two were sized up based on recent photos and hobbies. Recently, Zuckerberg has actually been working out and training his boxing prowers. Elon’s most recent photos were of his big belly and he otherwise looked frail. Zuckerberg was also taller and much younger leading to people to vote for him if the fight ever happened. To add more fuel to the fire, the Lizard decided to open an alternative to twitter, Threads. While Facebook allows for a variety of posts, Instagram only allows for image/video posts. Threads would allow instagrammers to make text posts, just like on twitter, especially because both the Threads account and the Instagram account would be directly linked. It was a separate app but anyone on instagram was basically logged into here. This also allowed for new audiences since tweeters wanted to scope out the scene here although I don’t know if it was entirely different than instagram. It gained some hype on twitter, since it had permanent night theme, but not necessarily everyone went over. One major difference I find in one week of threads vs one week of twitter, is how quiet it is. Meta’s apps still require you to know people to have content on your feed, but Threads did have a central feed that technically everyone posted to. But I couldn’t find any fandoms or interests really. On twitter, there has always been a structure of circles that I’ve seen. If you follow someone who follows another person by a number of maybe 6 degrees, eventually that person’s tweet will reach yours once in a while. It’s like a cafeteria in that way, overhearing conversations as you pass by. Threads was so quiet after launch day and soon it was just the usual thirst posters from instagram posting on there. They didn’t even have tagging (hashtags, trends, adding accounts to a post) which is usually a given by now. Zuckerberg was somewhat active on there at the start but no amount of promotion from him would liven the site. But it is not truly dead yet and the company is working to improve it. In any form of failure, it is in no way more expensive than Muskovite Twitter. 

Record Heat: if you are reading this from a warmer future, I was not happy to start off us. Despite having a very large lead against Global Warming, the previous generations did very little to adapt to new energy resources to prevent that DLC. By the time the mean of Zoomers became of age (2021), it is practically to late. We technically still have time but if we didn’t start now, it will be a lot of work to reverse the damage. For this year, we got to unhappily experience one of the warmest years virtually ever. I already spoke about how the winter was so warm that there was wildfires in the snowy landscape of Canada but that continued into spring and summer. Many countries and regions around the world would hit their hottest recorded temperatures with rising sea levels as a side effect. In Florida, a region hit daily by the Gulf Stream from the Tropic of Cancer, people burned alive. No, not yet. I did melt as I stood in the shade, indoors, so. The wet season usually begins in May at the earliest but we got April showers 🙂. Oh and then it decided to be dry as fuck through late June and all of July. Every day was a sweltering mess until August when some showers decided to cool us off….to bring in more humidity. Hurricanes were larger and more worrisome this year but if one lived in the Orlando region, it was just more rain. There was serious flooding in some parts of the coast, along with our island neighbors and those across the Gulf. Globally, it was declared that July was indeed the hottest month on record, new pr new pr! I’ll still discuss other weather events separately.

the Pinkydoll Reign: So Tiktok adopted livestreams in 2019 where users could gift streamers with the in-app currency of diamonds. They would have a ‘tab’ on their app dedicated to it but nobody would say ever aloud say, “hey do you know that tiktok livestreamer”. The few I’ve seen scrolling by are just a third feed of a twitch streamers who’s also probably streaming on Youtube. Best to hit all platforms i guess. “Pinkydoll” Fedha Sinon would start a new tiktok account in June but by July she was livestream with a technique never seen before. How do I describe this? She would state a catchphrase or do an action every time someone used a certain emote. Say it was icecream, she would say “Icecream so good” twice and then lick an imaginary cone of the substance. While doing this, she wore the bimbo aesthetic; long nails, a cake of makeup, and bright frilly outfits to match her bright blonde hair. So she looked extra dumb. After maybe one or two streams doing this, she popped off as everyone drew attention toward her. Some recorded clips of her, sharing it on both tiktok and twitter and since she was so weird, everyone interested had to look in. Others started to parody her character with their own streams and emotes. Still others directly copied her, instead of doing it ironically, evolving the technique so it became meta for the rest of the year. The technique would come to be known as ‘NPC Stream’ which I’m not sure entirely describes but sure. NPC, or non-player-character, refers to a video game character that a player can’t play as. Usually in an RPG, all the character does is give out quests, advice, casual dialogue, or otherwise just react to your needs. Technically speaking, enemies in a game also can’t be played by the player but they are way more interactive than NPCs. NPC would then become a term for a real life active person, someone with a service job that can’t do anything but what their customer (the player) asks for. It relates to the idea that under capitalism, the lowest man is a cog in a machine and cannot play around unlike those without jobs. So Pinkydoll simply reacting to emotes (and not having any conversation or doing anything a streamer would) is similar to that. Pinkydoll did make tiktoks that showed more of her actually personality than the streams but she also more heavily leaned on dialect of her NPC streams. She’s dubbed herself the NPC Queen! Later on, people also found it less cringe and weird although I never cared. She just likes icecream, okay? 

Nobody wanted to hear about the UFO: In the middle of the hottest July recorded, former Air Force officer David Grusch went to Congress with a huge accusation. He attacked the Federal state for keeping secrets about UFOs. According to his sources, the US was keeping a certain ship and its non-human pilot stored somewhere instead of sharing this finding with the common citizen. Well, buddy, we already raided Area 51. They have no more aliens left. Considering the existence of aliens doesn’t reduce rent prices, halt inflation, or increase wages, nobody talked about this. 

Muskovy’s X Factor: Finally, a permanent reform to Twitter. By the way, while Twitter is owned by Elon Musk, he placed a regent for the company in June, Linda Yaccarino. She does not nearly tweet as much as him so she’s basically just for public relations. Previously, she has stayed in high places, as an officer at NBCUniversal, the Ad Council, and Trump’s Presidential Council for athletics. Here, she gets to change Twitter’s name to ‘X’ as decreed by Musk. Elon Musk has had a lifelong fascination with the 24th letter of the latin alphabet. Back during the Internet Bubble Arc, he founded his own financial service x.com which would later merge with Cofinity. Infighting caused by Musk caused him to be ousted and Cofinity later evolved into Paypal. Later, he would start his spacecraft company, SpaceX and now he has Twitter. This name change would be accepted by not a single tweeter, including me. We would continue to deadname the site as twitter mostly because its branding had expanded the english language. “Hey did you see that tweet on X?” sounds retarded when the website isn’t twitter. But it went through, with a change to an x logo that could only be made by Musk. The logo would be changed everywhere on the app although nothing else about the format. On the web, one can still find Musk’s old x.com on the Waybackmachine and so that domain is not technically free. Why would he change Twitter to just X? Instead, you must still search for twitter.com/x. Retarded. 

Supermega Plays Employee Management: hey, we gotta have at least one sexual assault charge this month, this is quite a long one as i just left the notes i took from the video. Supermega is a gaming/sketch Youtube channel that spawned in 2016. It was led by a duo; Ryan Elias Magee and Matthew Hobbes Watson. It was their next project after the suicide of a friend and it would serve them well. They would become decently popular in the next few years, gaining 1 million subscribers. They also had multiple collabs with Big 3 Markiplier helping that growth. They had a channel artist who also found employment via twitter; “Don” of Germany. Aka Donrororo or small Don but why would I say that. In 2017, Don started dating another twitter artist, Lex Updog. I wonder what she smells like. It was on/off (maybe due to Don’s communication allergies) and one of the times it was on, she met with Don at Matt’s house. They were both doing art for the SuperMega Book and their relations couldn’t have been a secret. The two were to sleep in the same bedroom so after everyone else said goodnight, Don decides he need to fuck Lex. He tried to come onto her but she pushed him away enough times to get him to quit. Afterwards, he still tried to sexually entice her until he fell asleep. The next morning, due to Matt’s unwillingness to give this Germ a green card, Don asks the very troubled Lex for marriage. Lex, who feels he has never really talked to her and really only has a list for her despite her good feelings for him. Later, Lex oversees Don’s search history which includes nudes for a girl similar to her build. He is doing ANYTHING but rizzing her. Feeling doubly destroyed, her mentality actually relented and continued to let Don emotionally abuse her for the coming months. This event had happened in 2021. In a podcast episode, for Supermega, Lex had speculated Don might leak they were dating again so her anxiety jokingly stopped him, which is something she mentions to clarify to SM fans about that episode. Later, during the Creator Clash Arc (2022) , a defeated Lex would continue the relationship with Don (despite his diabolical fear of women) while also nursing Matt who trained just to lose against Dad. Physical time away from Don let Lex ponder about their relationship and the assault until she realized she was repeating her life again. Like a JoJo character answering to their fate, Lex achieved resolve to confront Don about his behavior. She wanted to do it personally since they really only have had a handful of face to face conversations. Over the Clash weekend in Tampa, Don had leaked that Lex was his girlfriend to one the boys who confronted Lex. This upped her anxiety but she was born with a will of fire. By the end of the trip, Lex pulled Don aside where she wanted him (in a way for this to not blow up) and confronted him with yes/no questions. She revealed how she didn’t like being sexually assaulted but he only truly felt defeated when she clarified that relations were expired. Now, Clash over, Lex heads home to watch her dog die (not even) and then heads to LA after getting invited by a new friend, Rav. She learns that Don is hanging out with Matt in LA, rather than heading back to Germany. That is quite worrisome to her well-being if she goes there in the same Supermega friend group. So she calls ahead to one SM friend, Layton, who recommends that Ryan and Matt will understand her. Ryan kind of does although she finds him too curious. She calls Matt two days later who she explains everything to specifically because this happened at his house. He says, “aw bummer, this sucks. Right after the Jackson heist? This year is going crazy…SuperMega is my magnum Opus and I would hope nothing messes it up”. Jaw on the floor, Lex finds even more resolve to defeat the problem once more. She drove across California from her home to defeat Don’s lack of social support. On the way, Rav warned her that while Ryan and Matt talked to Don, it was hardly constructive. When she got there, Don returned to the office since Matt didn’t want him around his place. This frightened her into the bathroom which he tried to use at an awkward moment. Don finally does leave this place but is actually too poor to return to the land of Bratwurst. The next day, Lex and Rav go to Ryan’s party where they are surprised the whole gang hates Layton. They tell Layton to pull up and so Ryan shuts down the party, and this is all due to false rumors around him.  The following few days, there are more and more Supermega hangouts which Lex is sometimes invited to and so she realizes more and more that there’s a break in the group although its not anything she wants. She continues to just have fun with Rav or Layton, the LA life. One day, another SM character, Jim of Tennessee, confronts Lex about her current mood. They talk on the couch as she tells him about Don’s assault. Seeing that as a recommendation, Jim tries to force himself on Lex. He lands a few kisses and then invites her to the closet for more action but she leaves him alone. Later, Jim’s asleep when Matt offers to pay for a Lex home in the LA region, which floors her and she rejects it. In any case, there was an expectation that she would leave this place soon as it was just an office space. Then was the Smokey Mountain Arc where Lex and Rav finally purchased a vehicle, went on a cross-country road trip, Rav’s ex-wife in Britain almost perished herself, and Lex finally found space to breathe. On the work-week long trip, Lex kept receiving messages from Ryan/Matt about their return which felt a bit annoying. It sounded like they thought she was just on vacation. But she was working the whole trip and made lots of popular content while finally feeling free. Then, during the Seattle Arc, a co-rapper of Rav invites him out to Seattle. This is apparently someone everyone in the group knows and so Lex felt fine driving up to Seattle to take Rav with the reasoning that they would both be working. Jim asked if they were on vacation and if they were moving out soon, again, which correctly frustrated Lex. Rav and Lex decided to quit SuperMega on their own terms with that message. During the Seattle trip, the car got robbed. The everything that Lex carried in her car, since she was going to move out soon (not homeless yet), was robbed. Lex relates how she didn’t receive a single “u gud?” message from any SM person. When she returns (now homeless), Matt and Ryan attack Lex and Rav for their misbehavior as employees. Later, Rav texts them asking for a face to face but the two are largely avoidant. Matt is a bit more childish and uncommunicative while Ryan’s approach is of a genuine benefactor. Rav strikes back, being playful but also trying to push them to address their concerns over the friendships. It was also important to win because they needed their other clothes in the SM office. Ryan finally does address some drama stating they didn’t react to “the Don situation in the best way” but also Lex was far too sad on his birthday. Rav responds by emptying an assault rifle of feelings hitting the heart of the issues which is quite frankly, their lack of communication. Lex adds her own nuclear bomb of emotions, although in retrospect she feels she was being too good faith toward them. Matt makes a response two days later convinced things shouldn’t have ended up this way, and Ryan makes his at the same time calling them messy (despite the fact they only technically let Layton clean up dinner). Rav replies with an unnecessary apology but clarifies their feelings about communication. They would not respond. Eventually, they worked their asses off raising money from their online followers to buy certain things back. Lex did get robbed a second time but she simply got on the come up again. Finally, Lex tried to get her last remaining items from the office. On the newly installed Ring camera, Matt was able to see this and texted her angrily about it. But she explained that Layton was letting her pick up her things and Amazon packages. In September of 2022, Lex finally found enough money to go back home. This bizarre adventure in its entirety was told in this video by Lex and to be clear, the Don event was in November of 2021 with everything else basically between May and September of 2022. She’s oh so happy to finally let this secret out, a secret that didn’t deserve to be kept because it was terrible but she felt horribly loyal to them. In the last few years she has felt mentally nonexistent but letting this out has relieved her. She was actually smiling brightly at the end. The video could serve as a personal catharsis but for everyone else, it was 3 accusations. 1 and 2 are sexual assault from Don and Jim and a 3 accusing Ryan and Matt for not being able to take care of their employees. Because they didn’t take care of Jim, this caused a domino effect of Lex basically becoming homeless (so a regular LA resident), monetary loss, and mental capilation. Their inaction, miscommunication, and crude support was seen as a totally helpless effort to save themselves from dealing with ‘drama’ by Lex. She notes that all she really wanted for them was to not see Don and to at least be friendly with her but that period between May-Sept it was all business for the boys. They might not understand as she didn’t make any specific requests about Don since she expected better out of people she saw as brothers. 

Worst, it came as horrible news as well to the SM fandom. There was probably speculation and patience from Twitter (since she had first made the tweet before the video) although I didn’t pay attention at the time as I don’t give a shit about SuperMega. They lost to Dad in under a minute. That should’ve ended the channel. On their subreddit, you can see strongly downvoted comments about people misunderstanding the situation while the popular comments find Matt to be a fucking idiot. The patience in either groups from the myriad of allegations of Youtubers that may not always be correct and so chat has adapted to waiting for statements from both sides and/or proof before canceling one side. It would seem that the Youtuber side has not adapted to this common occurrence as these two mishandle what could’ve been an easy situation. A chat solution would have just been automatically firing Don as publicly siding with an assault victim would have been well received by chat. I mean even if not automatically, they let the problem linger for weeks which troubled their own personal friendships and employment. Let’s see the response from the Dumbass Double. They decided to do separate videos and Matt’s came first at 45 min. He spent his time clarifying his intentions despite however poorly it was executed or how unsatisfyingly he communicated with Lex. There is an advantage that Don had in first arriving to LA upset about the breakup so any assault was the last thing Matt had heard. And from Don, it wasn’t assault but simply bedroom confusion. All that concludes is he didn’t intend to do it but it still happened. Matt is deeply regretful about any and all mistakes Lex critiqued him for. While he feels he didn’t take it as seriously as he could have at first, he does think he addressed it well enough with Lex in face to face convos. Matt says Don was removed from the channel but Lex has pointed out he was still credited until November of that year and their new artist had to draw in Don’s artstyle which was just weird to her. Later, Matt also feels that the whole group was being uncommunicative about things rather than it just coming from him and Ryan. He brings up a text Lex brings up in the video admitting it was two sided, but that was well after he had sent Jim after them and while she never felt consoled by him like a friend would do. In fact he brings up a few more conversations to clarify…that she already does (with an emotional level) in the video. He had three days to watch the video but is only responding to her summarized tweet? Bro don’t waste my time, I have to research Lizzo next. Finally, he reaches the point in the timeline where she didn’t address, only stating the only time Matt texted her back is when she texted first. He reaches here to clarify that they talked but what she said isn’t false. He does then lament that she brought up people out of context not related to her story for no reason. I didn’t mention it in my summary because it was confusing, it didn’t matter but she was just venting, but she also didn’t actually name anyone. She was just yapping. So Matt brings up the Morgpie Episode. YOU WHAT? Not the bitch that likes cum ejaculated directly into her esophagus! YOU WHAT MATT??? So during the Homeless Arc for Lex, Matt was impaling Morgan for at least two nights. Somehow, his level of rizz attracted her but he soon found his current girlfriend and stopped messaging the glizzy* guzzler. Months later, Matt and Morgan had another chill convo with each other to clarify things so it was fine. Then, that day, after Lex has posted her video, Morgan had a stream. This is where we unravel. How dare they try to distract from the main storyline. Well, Layton and Morgan had both also came out with videos in support of Lex. Morgan decided to spill about Matt potentially cheating on his ex-girlfriend with herself and his current girlfriend Zeph. Zeph’s a musical artist with her own fanbase that would come under assault. Here, Matt states everything in Morgan’s stream was a lie. Layton was fired months ago for unknown reasons and it was after that did Lex stop texting Matt. From Matt, Layton was fired because of his own behavior and mood swings. Under Matt’s pov, Layton understood his weaknesses in the company and they had generously given him $12,000 severance. Conversely, after getting fired, Matt received word that Layton had certain blackmail to cancel them at anytime. This includes homophobic jokes, working with the anti-Supermega Discord server to get SM in corporate trouble, supporting Lex’s boyfriend’s claims that SM say slurs, and slandering the two whenever someone listened to him While Layton is supporting Lex’s accusations, Matt is able to accept that and nothing else that Layton said in his stream. Layton accused Matt of making fun of his suicided friend, cited that Matt always complained about Lex not moving out, that Matt and Ryan would do nude jokes around the office (what), they said slurs, and accused Matt of cheating. Matt responds that basically they never made fun of their dead friend, everyone complained about Lex, everyone walked pantless (why) no slurs were said, and it wasn’t cheating. Matt had fallen for Zeph and revealed this to her while on shrooms without breaking up with his girlfriend. Classic Scott Pilgrim move, bro, he is sorry about it. But thanks to Layton, now both girls are facing fire from chat. He doesn’t really understand why Layton is expanding the story of Don’s assault to every sin around SM. Moving on to Ryan’s simple 9 minute response. Thank God. Ryan recognizes that they wrongly confronted Don, basically just suggesting he should apologize to Lex although that never seemed to happen. He also addressed accusations of talking to underage fans (while in a relationship) which he is deeply sorry about. He lastly discusses the suicided friend, Daniel, who he believes shouldn’t be brought up. In general, a bad day for SM fans. Their tour would get canceled and it seems like Ryan wants to remove himself from the internet. Conversations on twitter continued for a whole week and I finally stopped seeing their rare clips on my tiktok fyp. I say that like I even noticed. While they had recently reach 1 million subs, they would go under afterwards. ”Very Cool, magnum opus”