the Ken-Year Chronicle

Januarizz

Death of Pope Benedict XVI- born as Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger in 1927, the Bavarian and his family hated to be under the Nazi Regime. Forced to join the Nazi army, he soon deserted as the victorious Americans invaded Germany. He later studied theology, became a cardinal, and then the Pope of the Roman Catholic Church in 2005. He was known as the ‘Pope of Aesthetics’ since he brought back vestments and decor to churches in his tenure. Due to health, he resigned in 2013, which made him the first pope to do so in nearly 600 years. The last to do so, Pope Gregory XII in 1415, did it to end the Papal Schism (unsuccessful) at the time. Finally, Ratzinger died in on the last day of 2022. What followed for the next week was wailing from Twitter’s chat about the modern controversy for the Church; sexual assault allegations. Not that Ratzinger committed them himself but that he was an enabler as being apart of the Church especially at the head. It should be noted that during his time as Cardinal, he was relevant for trying to push for more awareness of sexual abuse in the church. He seemed to face much friction though especially since the controversy was nearly 20 years old by the time he started. There are even cases where cardinals seemed to have escaped his authority when he was pope. His successor, Pope Francis of Brazil, is also noted for having a more aggressive approach against pedos within the Church so the conversation should keep moving forward. But we should all be alert. Pedophiles suck, whether they are heretical priests or your local uncle.

Maverick v Coffeezilla– While this year will feature attraction to Ai, last year Internet users had to deal with the rise of NFTs. Horrible that it had a full year but this chronicler would like to point to this campaign as the last bulwark defending NFT and cyrpto-economics as a profitable concept. In the last few weeks of that year, the Legendary Pocket Watcher “Coffeezilla” Stephen Findeisen investigated the income of Logan Paul. Logan, King of the Maverick Empire, decided to find a new scheme of minting his own coins. This project–or game– was known as Cryptozoo. It would be an animal-themed gatcha game with the addition of making money off of his cryptocoin Zoo coin. Unfortunately, on the day of dedication, investors into the mint found their bank accounts unmoved and in fact the game itself did not work. Throughout his investigations of Logan and his minters, Coffee discovered a web of scammers scamming each other and released several reports about this. Logan, the unruly king, would act arrogantly and threaten Coffee with war. But it was not like Coffee was going behind his back, his minters willingly leaked information on the horrible processes that ended up in an incomplete currency. At the same time, Logan seemed to ignore and back off any updates of the coin after the release date. But now, in this year, Logan kept acting aggressively against the lone nerd until finally his advisors corrected him. Logan went on to slyly apologize to Coffee along with promising a refund to some investors to the tune of 1 mill USD. While the year ends without any refund in sight, Logan did lose a lot of reputation in this conflict and it seemed as if Crypto currency as a whole disappeared from the mainstream afterwards. There were still a few contreversaries with that economy but they are too irrelevant to be noted here.

New Year, New Allegations– (to start us off on this trend) Kai Cenat will be talked a bunch as this was a big year for him so an introduction. A member of the Any Means Possible* troupe, Kai Carlo Cenat III is a relatively young streamer. he was born just months after 9/11 and started his career of streaming in 2021. He is nearing the peak of his career but this does not mean solitude for him. At the very start of this year, he had a New Years Party where one dear friend of his kind of basically raped a girl he invited while she was asleep. She took the the web next morning accusing the both of them and Kai’s rep was in deep waters until he could stream. He stated he was waiting for legal support before saying anything. Months later, the alleged rapist Djigui Seck, released a video of himself and the girl to clear his name. This was not optimal. Not only did chat accuse him of recording her without his consent but did not find this to be evidence of any innocence. If allegations are being pursued by Jovi Pena, the girl, there is also no clue about it. According to their instagrams, Seck’s cousin recently had a marriage while Pena continues to enjoy her life as well as she could. I don’t know, I thought there’d be a conclusion as well.

*Any Means Possible is a troupe including Duke Dennis, Kai, and a few others along with Fanum. Fanum is relevant due to his policy of Fanum Tax. Any food the gang brings to his house is vulnerable to be a tribute to his fat ass. So Fanum Tax has been spread as a term referring to any food tax among friends.

Brazilian Jan 4th– I don’t understand how foreigners disagree with the idea that USA leads the world after doing exactly what we do. Brazil, Latin America’s secret superpower, had their little election in later last year to decide the president and other parts of the government. Running were incumbent and right leaning Jair Bolsonaro while his rival Luiz Inacio Lula de Silva ran from a left party. If you aren’t politically inclined, the right usually refers to more conservative ideas while the left is more liberal. Lula de Silva won the vote by a narrow margin much to the health of socialists across Brazil and the western world. But Bolsonaro couldn’t just not imply voter fraud after Donald Trump did the same. So in the same way, insurrectionists planned to attack the capital government building in order to change the vote their way.They camped the place the days beforehand and then attack on the 4th. One logistical flaw. There were no legislators in the building. No one in bureaucracy. Even, Silva was elsewhere in the country. So they just hung out in their until they were evacuated. They killed even less people than the American insurrectionists on Jan 6th. Which is fine, we can’t all be the number 1 nation on the planet. But also, Silva went on to condemn the insurrectionists which is one step further than the Democrat Party of the US ever did. With the condemnation, Silva would be able to bolster support against a Bolsonaro government as being anti-democratic. Luckily, the country was also stable enough to not fall into civil war.

No Breaks All Gas– All Gas No Breaks was a Youtube series hosted by Andrew Callaghan where he would capitalize on the insanity around performance anxiety. Performance Anxiety usually refers to stage fright but psychologically, it is any change in your behavior caused by a visible audience that you may be uncomfortable with. With stage fright, most people just shut up but with the recently coined stage excite, folks on camera will HYPE up and become an overexaggerated version of themselves. This is most shown in his old videos such as the 2019 siege of Area 51. He’ll hand the random civilian his mic and sometimes not even ask them a question while they state the most out-of-pocket things. This lasted through COVID until he transitioned to a new project, Channel 5 which had more formal interviews. But regardless, he was mostly known for this liberal form of journalism in the first channel. Then, at the top of this year, 4 women would commit out with accusations of sexual assault against Andrew. They came in pairs, the first two were more recent incidents and he came out with a quick apology video alluding that he didn’t realize he assaulted them. Then another pair came out with incidents from 2017 at his old university. The pattern continued of Andrew not seeming to be able to resist pressuring these women into sex when they want to or in ways they want to. Even a representative admitted that he was going into therapy in order to learn about boundaries and the like. By this time, nobody in chat was holding out for him and he fell off completely in reputation. AND THEN MORE ACCUSATIONS CAME FORWARD. Bro is unstoppable. At the very least, he is seemed to have fallen off the internet.

The Tik Tok Rizz Rivalry Between 808dion and kozyrizzler– this is a stupid one, high key. It’s was so funny at the time. All etymologist agree that “rizz” is derived from charisma and simply refers to someone’s aptitude when trying to court a partner. Synonyms include game (n), smooth (adj), and cook (v). Due to it being English slang it can be also be used as a noun, adjective, or verb. So I forget where it exactly started on tiktok but across the internet, there was a long history of posting failures of men flirting with women on things like dating apps. It went so far as to create the stereotype that Indian men are universally bad a flirting. But these rizzlers wanted to change the game of the game. Now it was time to actually court these women online. At first, I thought some of them were fake because not only did they do it too frequently but also even flirt fails have been faked before. Even then, they were still a decent form of entertainment. Many accounts tried to use crazy lines and then later adapted to anime pictures to rizz and it was all the more fun. Under the accounts of kozyrizzler and 808dion, I came to find not only an edge of reality but also a feud. The two rizzlers started the year in a contest to be the best rizzler ever. This did not mean finding the hottest women or the most but instead using the most insane lines. This way it raises the difficulty of actually getting the digits from a girl. It’s about the love fo the game. The first phase is a dumbass opener that would get anyone interested followed up by a line that may sabotage the game in different circumstances, then a return from the bottom, the girls number landing in their pocket and usually with an epilog where they cheer “awesome sauce”. It was so exciting and intense every time, you don’t understand.

https://www.tiktok.com/@kozyrizzler/video/7186012582447287595?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@808dion/video/7188291397248666923?lang=en

Now we can see here the difference in their decks. Dion is perhaps older as he is still yet formal in his rizz. He does play some crazy cards during the Miss-step but due to his poetry spell cards, he can almost always come back up. Now Kozy is maybe younger due to his abundance of anime cards. He’s also a lot more rash without any of the remorse Dion has. Still, Kozy also has harder critiques from chat thus forcing him to push harder and harder. Eventually though, it seems Dion crowned himself ‘Shah of Rizzistan’. The two continued their careers for the rest of the year but I stopped paying attention when my algorithm changed. It seems at some point, an ai was created “RizzApp” that could support rizz knights in their courting but regardless, that was a fun arc.

Wubba Lubba Whoops Whoops– Justin Roiland, creator of hit sci-fi show Rick and Morty, was accused of domestic violence against his ex-wife for some time. Despite the accusation, not much was ever made public. Then it did leak just a bit thus allowing co-creator Dan Harmon and others at Adult Swim to drop Roiland from the show due to their own internal conflict with him. According to some reports, they just did not vibe with Roiland. He seemed lazy and too playful. After this, there were leaks of potential text conversations between him and others of really weird flirting. Despite the loss of company backing (and what could the fans say?), the case was suddenly dropped. The court saw their was not enough evidence or whatever to continue it to a real trial. Still, he was not invited to return to the show. This is while the show is about to have a new season but now they will have to find new voice actors to replace his roles. After dismissal of the case, Roiland has stated disappointment for people to quickly judge him for lies and that he hated to be canceled by his ex-wife. I would hate it too considering he didn’t even get to lose the trial. At the same time, “Moist Critical” Charlie points out that the public still don’t really know anything about the case at all, it was just his peers at Adult Swim. Roiland has even been kicked off his game and the other show Polar Opposites. Sucks to suck.

Mindy Kaling’s Velma Show Becomes One of the Worst Rated Shows of all Time– I did not even hear about this show until chat logged onto Twitter to complain about it. Mindy Kaling, a mid-tier actress apart of the Office was among many of their cast members to finally find work after the show ended and after Post-Covid. John Krasinski got to play as Mister Fantastic in the Multiverse of Madness while Kaling decided to start her own show. It would be another animation of the iconic Scooby Doo gang. Can’t wait for the Scoobyverse film considering they have a good number of concrete timelines. In this universe, Velma gets to be voiced by Kaling and is thusly Indian. Glenn Howerton, Dennis Reynolds from Always Sunny, gets to play a white Fred, Sam Richardson plays a black Shaggy who uses his gov name Norville, and Constance Wu as an Asian lesbian Daphne. Anyone who is woke-phobic would already hate it but a lot of what I saw was hate toward Kaling for fundamentally shifting the series to suit to her rather than the in-universe Velma. Also there’s no Scooby. Also, as cool a representation is, due to the character changes on top of ethnic changes, it seemed completely separate from the rest of Scoobyverse anyways. Chat seemed to agree that Mindy could’ve just made an original show rather than hijacking a well known franchise. In that way, I think, a show about an Indian girl un-framing herself from a murder could’ve worked better. Now Kaling had to suffer review bombs. But its not like the critics like it more either although some did appreciate whatever charm they found in the show. In the end, it would become lower rated (on IMDB) than Fred: the Show at 1.6/10. Also Avocado Animations made a decent response to the show that was nicely creepy. One last note, it didn’t seem anything Kaling did could not stop people from cosplaying accurate or sexy Velma (I think its overdone).

Schaffrillas Accident– started Youtubing in 2019, James “Schaffrillas” Phyrillas posted movie and game reviews with his somewhat specific tastes. I’ve seen a few of his videos but never really followed him. On a regular drive, James was with his channel partner Chris and brother Patrick where they found themselves in a car crash. The other two unfortunately passed away and James had to be hospitalized himself. He’s recuperated and had his fans raise funds for the funerals. At the time, everyone reacted in shock and this story would seem to serve as a reminder how fast our lives can change.

Tyre de Tennessee– In the city of Memphis, Tennessee and after the Vaccine Arc of COVID, the SCORPION unit was founded. That is the “Street Crimes Operation to Restore Peace in Our Neighborhoods”. There is no reason for such a name. It was a regiment of 40 cops split into 4 teams. Each 10 would stalk the high call areas of Memphis in order to deter and stop crime in action. It seemed they were successful in the following year as appreciated by Mayor Jim Strickland. He held them proudly responsible for of over 500 arrests and seizing of $100k+ among other stats. They were a powerful team. But too powerful. Civilians have found them being too rough which included the killing of Tyre Nichols. He was stopped by 5 black cops at a traffic light. They came, guns blazing, beat him and tazed him. He escaped for a moment just for them to chase him until they could treat Tyre like a punching bag. He was so brutally damaged that he died three days later in the hospital. Autopsy pointed to blunt force damage as the culprit, of course coming from the cops. The cops would be fired (the rest of the SCORPION unit lost that title as it was disbanded), blacklisted from police work, and then investigated before being brought to trial. Desmond Mills Jr pleaded guilty to two charges so far. Another cop in the assault, Demetrius Haley, sent photos of the beaten Tyre to his friends as if he accomplished some kind of bounty hit. Preston Hemphill, who might’ve been involved, was fired but has not been charged anything. Cases are still waiting to be completed next year where 4 of these cops may serve real time for this homicide. Hopefully, after this lesson, Americans will take note of police brutality.

Quick aside for this tragedy but….the naming scheme gets me. Scorpion? Black cops killing a black man? Strickland? Even Tyre is the name of an island brutally conquered by Alexander the Great. Are we in a comic book here?

Crowder vs Big Conservative– With Biden becoming president, the Republican Party and its ideologues focused on a few campaigns to ruin the country since they never have any good ideas. The Abortion Arc was a success for them although the Trans Kids Arc was a bit mixed and so it is unfinished. But as they find difficulty here, they also find friction between each other. Debate-bro Benjamin Shapiro (a man of Jewish descent) is the head of the Daily Wire, a right wing ‘Judeo-Christian’ media network where he can post his little Jubilee react videos in earnest. The Daily Wire includes senile Canadian Jordan Peterson, real life coon Candace Owens, Matt Walsh is here too, Italo-Britannic Michael Knowles (author of Reasons to Vote for Democrats which is blank) and CEO Jeremy Boreing (pronounced ‘boring’). An unserious sinister six. Now the Daily Wire used to also ally political peer Steven Crowder. Crowder himself is a debate-bro famous for the “Change my Mind” meme from years ago. He is the person in that meme no matter what the caption is. While Shapiro used to debate college students and speaks in a voice that absolutely everyone mocks him for, he is at least a grown man. I would describe Crowder as a Jake Paul that got political. Or perhaps a personification of Call of Duty racist stereotypes. When George Floyd died due to police brutality, Crowder literally reenacted the scenario to show how he would survive it. This is an ungrown man. Because of this crowdy rowdy nature, Daily Wire sent him an offer. With a payment in the millions, Crowder would simply have to continue conservative efforts without also ruining advertisement deals. Crowder was fuming! How dare these slave drivers try to quiet his freedom of speech. Did I say the deal was to be less rowdy for $50 mill? How unfair! Boring had to come out in literally the most boring way and made the contract public so people understood which side to take here; corpo conservative or freelance conservative. But of course, Crowder has always been funded by others. Regardless, Crowder moved away from Daily Wire vassalage to Rumble. Rumble was a Canadian site with streaming and video services. Here, he simply lost views. Now wonder his wife filed for divorce two years ago. Oh and then someone leaked a video of him shouting at his pregnant wife because she wanted to use his car when he didn’t want to get something for her. With this leak, Candace Owens came out and spoke against him and his carelessness. The madman then decided to ally with Alex Jones who just spent the last year fighting the law. Haven’t heard from him since. I guess big conservative media really beat him out.