Swifties Arising in April
Sneako v Critical: “Moist Critical” aka “Penguinz0” aka Charlie White is a longtime Youtuber, practically apart of the Golden Age although he didn’t show his face back then. He used to play CoD before general commentary and then I caught him during his commercial dubbing arc. Since then he’s expanded to even going outside and then back inside to a warehouse to film experiments, tier lists, and other shenanigans. He’s known for his unique vocabulary involving toilet humor (pussy, cock, poop, ect) but what makes his stand out–versus a scene from Big Mouth–is the nonchalant delivery as if he wasn’t even making a joke. It is unknown why he speaks like this as none of his friends do, no one else in Tampa does, and he’s the only one to make efficient or smart use of it. Imitating Charlie has become a popular meme whether from other creators or anonymous dissenters on 4Chan and Reddit but no one could truly replicate what comes out of his mouth. He also has an iconic look: long brown hair and just a white tee shirt as if he just woke up to record. Nicholas “Sneako” Kenn de Balinthazy is a commentary youtube and (Google is saying) musician. Most people including myself, only know him for sucking to Andrew Tate and cuckery. The man is a cuckold and he infamously declared this in a podcast clip where he described his first swinger episode with his girlfriend. Swinging and swingers are basically people in an open relationship and practice this by attending orygies. Sneako stated that he watched his girlfriend get railed so hard he had to leave the room BUT it was apparently a good test of love for him toward his girlfriend. They are no longer dating. Regardless, chat unanimously agreed that he had just cucked himself (cuckery is allowing another person to take your partner). He cannot defend himself or even bring up the situation because chat will reply to links of Sneako cuck memes OR Sneako pedophile memes because his favorite movie is Cuties from Netflix. For the Plot. His page is so fucking long actually and in any case, he likes causing fights. Attacking Charlie for his ‘monogamy’, Sneako began a new campaign. Charlie didn’t really want to respond but when he did, Sneako continued with a winter long assault on the Moist Nation. According to Charlie’s chat, Charlie would be mentioned (basically) daily on Sneako’s streams. One day, Sneako streamed with an gallery of ‘enemies’ on his screen while he danced with unloaded guns. Inciting violence over the internet is toootally Sigma*. In Charlie’s video response, (much to the excitement of chat) he showed off his own guns with correct terminology. Besides that, they also had some back and forth on Twitter in which Charlie was just obliterating this 25 yo kid with no effort. Finally the two would have a solo conversation/debate about their ideals. Charlie would find that two just don’t vibe and in fact Sneako had misunderstood a lot of things about him. Nonetheless, that’s one person off Sneako’s list.
*Sigma is the eighteenth letter of the Greek alphabet and it has been used in mathematics for the sum of a group of items. Since Covid, it has been applied to masculinity in reference to something greater than an Alpha Male. While an alpha gets bitches, a sigma owns them while not caring for them. It is just a reference to Andrew Tate’s ideology along with other figures in the ‘Manosphere’. For irony, sigma is also used for himbo careless badass behavior. A misunderstanding of the term is also applied on American Psycho‘s main character Patrick Bateman by cucks, incels, and teenage boys because of his careless badass behavior.
Tennessee Blunder: I know you were hungry for another politics episode. This time I will write like I was Uncle Ruckus because he’s a popular meme this year, again. In the great white state of Tennessee, there was an anti-gun protest at the government’s House of Representatives. Apart of that protest were three house memes. These negros (Justin Jones and Justin Pearson) grabbed the porcelain Gloria Johnson as a human shield–no she was a willing participant— to join the riot while a series of bills were in vote. They were in that disgusting woke Democrat party that keeps trying to give dark folks a voice. Well praise white Jesus (heretical) because the good white men in the House saw fit to ban Justin Jones and Pearson from the House. And he rescued the white gorgeous Gloria, now you’re just lying, at the same time. Now the two Justins decided to call out the Republicans who decided their fate racists and bigoted. How dare they? The Republicans are protecting the people here. All you’re doing is running your monkey mouth about the safety of children after another school shooting in our gloriously caucasian country. But wouldn’t you know it, these apes are not only good at stealing the white man’s money but also their goddamn House seats. They were expelled from the House and according to the Constitution of Tennessee, their two seats would have temporary replacements until a formal election. Their districts gave their seats right back to them. The Justins returned. You try and clean up the government but these mucks always come back up. They never should’ve elected Obama Bin Laden as President!
Bud Light Arc: yooooo, another politics episode. Another economy episode! ANOTHER BOYCOTT EPISODE!! Bud Light, American alcohol company, decided to sponsor an advertisement with famous transwomen Dylan Mulvaney. Mulvaney had a career in theatre until Covid killed it causing her to take to Tiktok. There, she started a transition blog which was so widely popular that she got to talk with President Joe Biden. Bruh. Now the ad was just Dylan receiving her own face on the Bud Light can and posting it on her Instagram Story since it was her 1 year anniversary of transitioning. Then, you know, like any other content creator, she just boosted the product to her followers. That’s capitalism. Well, conservatives saw that and got MAd. Furious. Enraged, even. Not-even-famous singer Kid Rock blasted a pyramid of Bud Light with his gun to show his displeasure. Every famous conservative yapper came out to speak out against Bud Light and even promote a boycott against the company. Conservative buffoons nutted on their screens as they checked (24 hours after) the stock price of Anheuser-Busch drop by…a lot! Don’t check the figures! And on twitter, it was actually real quiet. Like no one was talking about Mulvaney until the conservatives decided to do so which meant that they brought more attention to Bud Light than her story did. This isn’t the first time Mulvaney has ruined a brands image. Last year, there was a push against Ulta because–she used their product–and Maybeline for the same thing. Oh Nike? Got not purchase them either since they did an ad deal. All you fake toxic women that claim to be in a hater arc don’t have this much hatred. It’s crazy cause the Bud Light arc is what I assume would make her famous? How did she meet Biden!? Anyways, not even a month later, Anheuser-Busch was doing even better in stocks and as far as I know, profited off the issue. There are now dozens of clips of conservatives throwing up at the idea of Bud Light, treating Mulvaney as a boogieman, and switching to other beers but the umbrella company Anheuser-Busch owns ALOT so good luck. Also, this was the loudest but this boycott came in a string of conservative boycotts against Hersheys and even Target afterwards. Actually that’s an episode. But from the conservative fight against Bud Light, and the liberal fight against Harry Potter, will Americans come to an understanding that our consumerism culture makes national companies immune to boycotts? Like nobody wants to even do unions or strikes but you think a boycott will be effective? The fuck?
Creator Clash: haha look I leady did a thing on it. Btw, Idbuzz did post the full thing for free since he didn’t make that much money from it. Don’t read that in a happy voice. Go back. Okay move on now. I guess I should say, he lost the big fight.
Dril vs Musk: Oh um. Dril is the most infamous tweeter in the site’s entire history especially considering how old it is. Wint Dril will usually tweet something surreal, nonsensical, or just some bullshit and eventually it will be repeated in real life. Well sometimes. Some of his tweets seem to be crafted with completely unique vocabulary and other times he does comment on current events or the weekly meme. He is a real person but I like to stay mythical about him. Next to Donald J Trump, he is the most celebrated poster of Twitter. The unanimously decided worst poster on Twitter is Elon Musk. The South African Tech Lord became famous on the Internet around a decade ago but it was mostly with the tech heads on Reddit and the like. He did tweet but only avid Muskovites really liked them. They were also usually just president head stuff or old/dumb memes. Hell, he would even repost memes from his own fans but remove any credit of op. The rest of chat found Muskovites annoying, way too submissive, and cucky. Last year, Elon would come to buy Twitter from Jack Dorsey for 44 billion$, becoming the second ruler of the site. Immediately he ruined the site in various ways–that will not be discussed here–so that not even Trump wanted to return to the site. One of the things Elon wanted to fix about Twitter was its economy and so he decided to promote a nobility that would be taxed 8$ for special powers over peasantry. The powers included preferred speech and decreased advertisement among other things. Instantly, Muskovites ate it up while loud majority found it flawed, ridiculous, and greedy. #StoptheBlue became a popular tagline against Muskovy. Those who paid would be noted with a blue checkmark while others with unpaid blue checkmarks would soon lose it. On Twitter, the blue check used to be a notice that the tweeter was also a real life person especially if they had some notoriety but Dorsid Twitter did not have the best system for promoting such nobility. In April, Muskovite Twitter then decidedly removed all the nobility that had remained since Dorsid Twitter. Dril, a huge anti-Musk proponent, also lost his check. After this large-scale disenfranchisement, the anti-Muskovites started just blocking blue checks and the movement became more popular in general. Then, “MNightShymalan” tweeted that Musk could do the funniest thing and give Dril back his blue check. Well, that spawned the Battle of Promotion. You see, there was a system in place with the blue check that if Dril changed his name, he would instantly lose his noble robes. So he did. And then Elon went out of his way to give him another blue check. And then he changed his name again and again. This happened all night while I slept and the next day I came to tweeters raving in support of Dril or making fun of the situation. Elon finally made an unfunny post that got lots of attention but the battle was over. Dril changed his name to “Slave to Woke” and became free of the blue checkmark. He virtually perma revoked his nobility and remains undefeated in his long tweeting career. Elon? A fucking loser.
tdwriter 