It’s Only October, Oy Vey
Yandere Simulator is still in Development: Graduating from Santa Monica College was Alex Mahan. Desperate to use his computer skills, he spread hype about a potential video game on 4Chan. The game would be kind cool to me based on the synopsis. You play as a yandere (japanese for psychotic lover) girl in high school who goes around killing other girls with the same crush. You have to be subtle about it as the murders might hurt your reputation in school and no guy wants to date a girl with a bad rep. Of course. I don’t know one. Throughout the game you would have to kill a total of ten rivals before your crush, sempai, fucks your brains out. Decently good indie game, quick 2 hours probably. Something to potentially start a career with or at least have your resume when you interview at Sony or whatever. Do you know how long it has been in development for? His entire adult life. Now, there is a beta version of the game online, with frequent updates making this akin to a live service game, but there has been no full release of the game. I assume Mahan also doesn’t have a day job as he has a patreon for people to fund his work here. Now over the last 9 years, he has garnered a reputation of somewhat creepiness but some have a more genuine reception of him although the length of this game’s development has been memed to death. Anytime there’s a unique event people will say something like “Elon Musk killed Juniper before Yandere released/finished” and it continues. Today, the reason to continue postponing the full release is because Mahan is getting abused by an underaged fan. Leaks of his dms with certain minors would be released to any social media site and eh would be mocked for withstanding this abuse. One abuser sited the fact that he is 35 while they are 16 in order to defend the fact that they could not possibly be a power imbalance in their favor. Mahan would be made fun of in all various types of memes and he himself could only try to apologize. Oh well. Guess what happened before the game finished?
Elon Musk kills Juniper: Juniper (actually Junlper, spelled with an L to look like an i) is an American shitposter on Twitter who has been active at least since covid. They have a very sarcastic/ironic sense of humor allowing for news media and normies to misunderstand any tweet. She is sited for coining the term “goblin mode” by one of those newsies. Well in Muskovite Twitter, she has also been one of the rebels who hates on Tsar Musk for all his deeds (which are misdeeds). Another amendment from Musk would prevent headlines to be written by news media whenever they (or someone else) posted link to articles onto twitter. Because why not. Like any rebel, Juniper decided to exploit this immediately by making up a headline which read “evidence showing Elon Musk is a pedophile mounting quickly” (thank you Gizmodo). Musk then personally hit Juniper with “Strong Fire” killing her instantly. Tweeters mourned for the passing of a decently well known shitposter and for Musk’s transphobia (amongst the mounting pedophilia). She would return to the website soon under the label @CantEverDie with the same profile picture but Elon has not been triggered by her just yet.
Sabbath Raid: The Great Semitic War continues from October 7th! The belligerents include the State of Israel and their new Arab target, Hamas. The State of Israel has existed as the British yin to the Nazi yang of how to answer the question of Jews in Europe. The Nazis decided the best course of action was the Holocaust although they were only able to burn a couple million. The British instead had lots of colonies across the planet with potentially a lot of empty land for anyone of Issac’s pedigree. Madagascar was an option but then it the region of Palestine was another option. Palestine (along with the other Arab regions of Syria, Iraq, Egypt, and the home peninsula) had been stuck under the Ottoman Sultanate as second class citizens for several centuries and that is along with other Christians and Jews in the Empire. After the Brityrant Lawrence conquered the Levant, the British were able to set the foundations for a Jewish colony in Palestine. The only issue is the native Christians, Muslims, and Jews in Palestine. They didn’t have a say (why should they?) and so when the ‘Zionist’ moved in, they would be forced out. Over the next few decades, British suzerainty would be exchanged with American which would give Israel a good bit more autonomy but also the ability to defeat a united Arab coalition in six days. Crazy. America-Israel’s existence would also prevent any further attempts of Arab unity over the regions I mentioned before. No caliphate. No super oil state. Just Egypt, the Saudis, Israel, and others messing with each other. Now Palestine would be split in half as a medieval European patchwork; the State of Israel and the Nation of Palestine. The Nation is largely Arab and muslim and impoverished (with two regions; Gaza Strip and West Bank) while the State is affluent, Zion Jewish, and militant (stretched around the aforementioned regions to span from the Galilee Sea and Gulf of Aquaba). Very silly borders. The State is protected by the IDF which is just about the highest quality military on the planet. Basically, since the fall of the Ottoman Empire, only the State side had even modernized/improved. The negligent American autonomy for the State meant that also Israel could continue messing with those native Arabs in various ways. (That is not to say they didn’t also abuse the native Jews and Christians as well). One prank was killing four natives at a Gaza entrypoint which would cause the First Intifada. In the middle of that arc, Ahmed Yussein turned his Islamic charity service into the paramilitary army of Palestinian nationalism which would violently argue for freedom. Well it was just a prank, so the IDF eventually killed enough people to shut things down. But the reason I consider Palestine simple a Nation verse the State of Israel is because Israel continues to treat them as Anglos did when moving into North America. The tribes of Huadonshaunee and Seminole among others were described as Nations which means the Anglos only occasionally interacted with them like a formal state and other times took territory and mistreated leaders like they didn’t have a formal state. Oh but yes we’ll give you the name Five Civilized Nations. That’s a higher praise than some Israelis give to the natives. The borders are iridescent to the State and they interact with which ever specific leader is most beneficial to them. During the Intifadas, Yussein’s group, Harakat Al-Muqawama Al-Islamiya, Hamas rose to prominence and then eventually surpassed their rival of Fatah. That meant fighting Israel in about five wars in order to further damage the State. It was necessary for Hamas to achieve nation-statehood as none of the other Arab states worried about them. Egypt would close their border on Israel-Palestine and the others I assume feel powerless, especially after President Bush ran through the region. And while the Arab Spring could’ve reignited a new pan-Arab nationalism, Israel still exists and Arabs still have their disagreements about who should win between each other. And that brings us to now where the Nation of Palestine find themselves protected by Hamas which is like holding a double edged sword. Whenever Hamas attacks, the IDF doesn’t feel the need to be precise or soft handed so they just kill any civil native they come across even if they themselves don’t support Hamas. Women, children, anyone. I find Hamas responsible for Palestinian deaths because of that, its not like stratagems have changed. Regardless, Hamas attacked again on October 7th which is also a day off work for Jews. About 1000 people died from Hamas’ raid but these brave raiders would not stick around for obliteration via IDF. Rather, they retreated back to Gaza allowing Israel to bomb the marathon long territory for weeks on end while asking each and every personality to condemn Hamas. Now because of the disproportionate attack on the Nation, the State would receive the harshest criticisms from those sympathetic to the natives. People already hated them from previous conflicts but now it seemed very ridiculous for the State to continue crying victim. Stranger Things actor Noah Schnapp suffered a huge loss in his own fan base for voicing support for Israel showing how knowledgeable Zoomers are about this tomfoolery. The Online Left would break apart between purely anti-war enjoyers and purely anti-persecution consumers as the latter believed those under persecution should be able to fight back. The main divide can be fully experienced by watching Vaush and Hasan streams. The war would also cause Jewish born American, Ethan Klien of H3H3 to argue against Hasan about the war. Notably, Vaush also argues for a third way; for the disapprovement of Hamas because they are effectively useless but also for Israel to treat the natives better. Kanye fans would be relieved as they pointed out that Kanye informed them that Israeli President Netanyahu was evil. Did they need him to tell them that? While Israel lobbied for UN’s condemnation, the news media also found themselves in major disagreement. Many stations would try to condemn Hamas or only lightly critique Israel while not letting any Palestinian supporters speak. The British newsie Piers Morgan and Egyptian actor Bassem Youssef would be the source of pro Palestinian arguments/interviews among the news with Morgan giving room to those angered by Israel while Youssef argued with every zionist on the planet. His fandom grew as Noah Schnapp’s lessened. But the worse happened. Worse than IDF biju bombings of children hospitals and forcing the natives to run over each other to escape the Angel of Death. Worse than the kidnapping and raping of natives they look one tint browner. Worse than starving and thirsting for IDF’s thirst traps on tiktok. The worse thing that happened was that the United States could not do anything about it. President Biden, for whatever reason, was practically neutral. I would say this war specifically also broke if not tested the suzerainty America has over Israel. Zionists in our country set up that colony over rotten sand not for oil but because they believed it could trigger the Revelations DLC. These people still remain in power in the US and have perhaps tied Biden’s hands over this. I’ve heard that the most recent presidents including Biden have never really agreed with Netanyahu but that Jew pulling a scheme like this on the Catholic President right before election year is the worst sabotage in Biden’s life. Now this man has to either completely cutoff ties in order to justly condemn Israel or act offhanded to not lose the military foothold we have in the Middle East. “I can do both” is not something Biden heard in his hand but he would continue to argue for greater care from IDF. One American island buster was sent over to spectate the situation the first weekend but shit has hit the fan. There’s nothing really to do if Israel can’t be convinced in behind the door talks. So, because publicly Biden looked like he was doing nothing, he lost nearly as many fans as Noah Schnapp and yet the Israelites keep killing. By the way, its not like Trump would’ve had a better reaction. Or anyone else realistically. Now Biden will need to hire the best PR team of all time in order to recover from this. The war continues until next year even though everybody thought enough damage had been done. Among State representatives, it seems Israel is willing to annex Gaza soon and then potentially they’ll prank the West Bankers in order to invade them.
Doja Cat y Sam Hyde: Doja Cat has had quite the mysterious year to someone like me not tapped into the pop/rap atmosphere. Every few weeks, she would be posted with a demon-esque outfit scaring the hoes away. A fully red outfit, one with demon horns, and one shirt she wore with the face of Sam Hyde. Now Sam Hyde was the side antagonist for Creator Clash already but I’ll discuss him broadly here. To news media and normies, this guy is basically the Joker or a part-time terrorist. He’s an edgy Youtuber for sure but they only know his most edgy moments. So for the girlypop girlies listening to Doja, to see her wear a shirt of the next Unabomber (in their heads) would definitely freak her out. A post was made in confusion on twitter and they even discussed it in this reddit post. Holy shit, they are discussing her like she flip flopped into being an edgelord. But this combo into her other Satanic (in the eyes of her fans) artwork this year, it seems like Doja was taking a turn for the worse. Anyways, she released a new album and is going on tour. One song, “Paint the Town Red” would hit like nothing else and easily became a viral sound on Tiktok for months. I don’t care. You guys have a negative perception of her and she is still making money? I don’t care.
NY Proof Bots: What? What are we doing back here? This is…I guess an interesting development. Um, the City of New York decided to release a security robot into the catacombs the subway system. It was a very silly looking oblong bot that didn’t have hands and was said to not need human handlers. In fact, it would be much cheaper than a minimum wage employee and wouldn’t even need breaks. That’s crazy, why are a team of police guiding it through its shift? Because of that and the other cartoonish aspects of the robot, tweeters would just make fun of it. Some talked about how they could exploit it and others mentioned that not even NY cops could enforce the law against New Yorkers. If any other department tries to invoke similar technology, let it be known that NY failed first!
Mojang Rebellion: there could not have been this many gamer events this year. Can something cooler happen than a game company be dysfunctional? At least this time, it deals with the most primary sector of the industry; the gamers. Mojang is a Swedish development company for the top 3 game Minecraft which has garnered lots of success during its various stages. They would soon be bought by Microsoft which has seen the quality and quantity of the game be disrupted by some fans. These same fans would protest against the unfair democratic vote Mojang has made annually as of recently. Every year, a new mob (creature) would be added to the game as chosen out of three ideas by the minecrafters. The mobs would be pitted in elections and voted on by the Minecrafters live. In 2017, the Phantom won. In 2020, was the Glow Squid. In 2021, Allay. In 2022, the Sniffer. What happened to the game I loved? But this year, the vote was between armadillo, crab, and penguin. Now these are all cute creatures which would be passive which is unique among elections thus far (usually adding a hostile mob). Killing two of them also meant receiving different utility items so they could be useful. But the Minecrafters didn’t want to choose this time. A petition was made (on change.org, famous from petitions that don’t solve things) that asked Mojang to add all three mobs to the game and to stop the vote. They should just add mobs whenever they have ideas for them rather than dividing the community on a quite minute decision. 400,000 people signed to it but Mojang simply never saw this I guess. Armadillo won and would be added later on.
Ssniperwolf vs Jacksfilms: A few weeks since we’ve had a fight. Here we have two titans of Youtube of which I mean they come from the Golden Age. Jacksfilms is a somewhat general youtuber, I mean he has commentary but since I don’t always watch his videos and he doesn’t always post; its not like he is owned by a specific genre. Kind of just a regular dude at this point, he has a power level of 5 million and a positive reputation. He has started a lighthearted rivalry with Sssniperwolf. Holy shit I didn’t put enough s’s in the title! And the s stands for ‘sexysexy’ as her old username was sexysexysniper. She is a long time gamergirl on the website although this persona has earned her disinterest from more critical viewers since she doesn’t seem to be that nice of a person. She does sexualize herself on her CoD or other games but has recently shifted to reaction content. Finding the funniest Jubilee videos or tiktoks to remark at. Her power level is around 35 million and she has a somewhat negative reputation. Now react content has largely been attacked by various other Youtubers over the years for its general laziness and the fact that a bigger reactor could be stealing views from the smaller original poster. Actual commentary while reacting to a video is usually accepted. But Sniper does not do this which is why Jack began his campaign. It has ran 2 years now with first a callout and critique video about her. Then he trolled her with a new channel dubbed “jjjacksfilms” which would react to her content in a better form. She accused him of content stealing, ironically. Jack stipulates its also because Sniper does not cite where the videos she watches comes that makes it stealing. But everyone knows Jack is reacting to her specifically so this is way less stealing. Also he’s punching up, the controversy around reactors all of the time is the question of how many views are exactly getting stolen? Cause the teens and jobless adults who watched one reaction definitely aren’t going to go out tf their way to watch the original video. If you punch down like Sniper, you for sure are going to steal a lot more than punching up. So honestly, if you’re a small channel, it is still valid to react. Anyways, to break away from all this ‘sexism’ from Jack, Sniper decided to pull up to his house, instagram it, and publicly ask him to “talk about it like adults”. Threatened, Jack accused her of doxxing him and his wife which is one of the worse crimes on the internet (next to sexual abuse). Sniper excused herself, she was just in the neighborhood, and she considered him along with everyone else to be overreacting. But her little adventure would explode on twitter with basically no one agreeing with her. Many people also appealed to Lord Youtube itself to intervene in the situation. First they made a little shit post “would it be meta to react to react content” when that’s been Jack’s plan the whole time. Then they decided to demonetize Sniper’s continuous videos for a period of time. She makes videos twice a day if not just once so that is potentially a lot of money lost. People still complained about Youtube’s slowness on this soft decision but why would they care? Where do they get to make the most money? Banning Sniper for her insanity or just taxing her while still allowing advertisers to use her videos to promote stuff. Like what do you guys think this is? I don’t know, maybe not that many people disagreed with this. Afterwards, Jack would shift into broadening his content policing to anyone his chat brought to him along with the creator’s permission. It would be a positive crusade, giving out constructive criticism to new and old youtubers. Sniper still hasn’t just reverted to gaming content and still does reacts. She could’ve gotten a skin in Fortnite by now if she locked tf in.
Louisiana Pile Up: Oh we’re back in the Cajun state. What cool thing happened this time? WHAT!? Okay, imagine you chilling on Interstate 55 in Lower Louisiana. You’re about to hit the usual swamp region in between Lakes Maurepas and Pontchartin. The radio reminds you that there was a wildfire yesterday which caused smoke to be in the air. You notice the fog cloud and think its nothing. Well it is not just smoke or fog but smog! What? Super fog? No, we already have a name for smog. Okay, whatever. Anyways, you’re completely blind and dive into the vehicle pile up at like 1000 mph per hour thus merging your body with American/Japanese/European metal of the highway. That’s how it would be for many civilians of King Louie when they found themselves among the estimated 168 car crash on I55! Do you know how destroyed these cars have to be for them to ESTIMATE 168 cars. The car crash extended for 1 mile killing 8 people and injuring around 63 or so. Many people immediately crashed although used their breaks beforehand as they were warned by previous victims. Some unfortunately didn’t break enough, crushing the car ahead of them. This is just insane to me though. Over 150 cars!? That is insane. Has to be one of the worst in this country, I only hope.
Maine Mayhem: So we have this guy, Robert Russel Card II, born 40 years ago. At the turn of the century, he joined the army as apart of fuel supplying but was never deployed in the field. Then he went on to college, got married and had a kid. He has lived in Bowdoin, Maine in his family’s land all his life had continued to do so although albeit unhappily. Eventually there was a divorce and other personal life stuff happened. Blah. This year, his ex-wife would find him crazy enough to report to authorities. Others in the army reserve and those who checked up on him did find him unagreeable. One reservist disliked how he casually spoke about shooting up an army base in Maine when he visited theirs. New York army authorities would place him in a mental hospital where he remained for two weeks in the summer. Afterwards, he would be unable to purchase a gun due to the mental history and auditory delusions. Regardless, RRC found the courage to attack the city of Lewiston by October. He modded his own rifle and then headed over to the “Just In Time Bowling Alley”. Crazy name from the writers here. They were having a youth bowling tournament and Card would hit a spare killing 7 people. The police arrived like five minutes later but he was already gone. RRC headed down Main Street and then Lincoln Street (at least I would’ve) in his 2013 Subaru Outback to arrive at the Schemengees Bar & Grille and kill 8 more people. This was almost an hour after the first shooting and the cops arrived immediately after he left. This elusive ass motherfucker would leave no trail as police but the entire city in high alert with a warrant for his arrest. While victims were quickly sent to hospitals, hunting would be completely restricted in the surrounding areas of Lewiston. The next day, the police arrived at his old house in Bowdoin and participated in a stand off with an empty home. Neighbors warned them that Card knows this area like the back of his hand and would be able to hide anywhere. He did! Police found his car abandoned by the side of Androscoggin River which spans the whole region. So then they would have to search the waters with sonar and such to find any trace of him. Using the river, if he wanted to, he would have escaped into the Atlantic. But the next day, they found him dead by his old workplace in Lisbon, Maine. Lisbon is also on the river just south of both Bowdoin and Lewiston. Apparently he shot himself around 7 am on that friday. The shooting would reignite conversations about gun bans or at least assault weapons but one may notice that gun sales in Lewiston increased in the weekend after the event. Some buyers waited in long lines to buy guns for their own safety. Online, people were just confused about the event. There was misinformation and weird agendas being pushed. Some noted he was moderately conservative but I mean, we can’t kill them all. Conversations about gun laws eventually died.
Hoopangel vs the Homeless: Another niche story from Tiktok only added for comedic relevance. Hoopangel is just another random shitposter on the site who makes surreal photo/video memes. In October, he decided to start a new bit after I had been watching him for days. It was to attack the homeless. Several videos would be made of characters unleashing attacks on what represented to be a homeless person. An interesting evolution during this series was the use of weapons. First it was bricks and then it eventually turned into using microwaved superhot honeybuns. Because those do more damage of course. And it was this bit of his that grew viral with other people adding to the story or making parodies of the honeybun weaponization. Hoopangel would improvise a crazy storyline where the homeless retaliate and there was even time travel. It was very silly. He soon shifted to a different joke but others would continue making homeless assault jokes until the end of the year. Despite that, I don’t know if he won against ‘the Homeless’.
Five Nights at the Game Theory: nah I have not wanted to talk about any other film since Barbenheimer. Like whatever, you know? After that movie, I ran out of money to go to the theater so I didn’t see this either. But a live action Five Nights of Freddy film would be released much to the enjoyment of all of its fans. It was a horror movie, of course, featuring a haunted version of Chuck E Cheese killing patrons at his own restaurant. They somehow made like five games about that one plot. Now the games have some very intense lore themselves causing Youtuber Matthew Patrick of Game Theory to study the games and create his theories about the story. His predictions would be so accurate that the game’s creator literally shifted the storyline in order to prove Mat wrong. Crazy. Mat made it into the movie! Much to the surprise of fans especially since he used his famous catchphrase “but its just a theory, a game theory!” Another Youtuber, Markiplier, was actually expected to also appear in the film due to his loyal playthroughs of the games but he was busy filming his own Iron Lung. With a crazy budget of $20 million and box office of $295 million, it would seem profitable for Blumhouse to make more.
Halloween was on a Monday so people would celebrate with parties on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday before also doing it on Monday. It seemed many people had set up for at least 3 or 4 costume parties because of that. Good for them.
tdwriter 