Destroy Daddy December
The beginning three months of the year feel exciting as a potential new arc begins for everyone although most of life stays the same as shown by the middle of the year. But the end of the year feels like there’s a bunch of filler episodes just to give us something interesting while we possibly wait for the last thing to happen. So these episodes are kind of short and weak….
Pokimane’s Cookies: “Pokimane” Imane Anys is the Moor-Canuk Queen of Twitch who has played League of Legends at least once in her life thus forcing others to have a negative reception of her unless they are masturbating to her ai generated nudes shared on 4Chan. She has had quite a few controversies over the years always just in time to remind chat to dislike her. Then, four weeks later, the gooners will adore her. This time, Poki started a cookie company known as Myna which would start selling “Midnight Cookies” which were supposedly healthier than your average Oreo. A hard feat I’m sure, problems arose when she announced the price point of $28 for a 4-pack of cookies. Her ow stream chat thought this was a little expensive, even if a single pack was $7, so she would spawn an infamous quote “I know math is hard when you’re an idiot, but if you’re a broke boy, just say so”. Charlie White notes this “galaxy brain tactic” was a perfect way to ruin any marketing Poki’s team could’ve done to get the cookies sold. Truth be told, general chat HATED her for this line especially for calling the people the pay for her livelihood to be broke. She was considered a hypocrite by those who found old tweets of her’s arguing against other streamers for attacking their chat’s bank accounts. Along with that, some people investigated the ingredients of her cookies, finding them to be the same as Toatzy’s “Midnight Mini” cookies although those are much cheaper in terms of cookie per dollar. Regardless, Poki decided to ignore all of this attention long enough for the gooners to start edging to her again. As for the taste of the cookies, “LowTierGod” rated them a 5.5/10 due to having a dry dirt chocolate taste and lacking succulence.
Hbomberguy and the Plagiarists: Britbonger “Hbomberguy” Harry Brewis is a journalistic Youtube, active on the site since Year 1. He would post documentary style stories with his British sense of humor and truly get down on the nitty gritty of political issues such as Britain’s transphobia, video games/movies, and whatever else was pertinent. Due to the tone and philosophy of his videos, he has been claimed to be apart of the so called Breadtuber League of Youtube. These are leftists (socialists) on the site that commit to gatekeeping, slay queening, and they are doing this in the name of Allah (of course) but these are girlbosses of politics. Others claimed by the League include (which is only reported by the fanbase as some of these creators somewhat tolerate each other) include Hasanabi, Vaush, Philosophy Tube, Shoe0nHead, ContraPoints, Shuan (England), and the super senior Destiny. After not posting for a year, (and the last post was about a Roblox sound effect), Harry Bomber would hit Youtube with a campaign that is hardly seen. In a nearly 4 hour video, Bomber would assault several plagiarists on this video website; Filip, Illuminaughtii, Internet Historian, and then a two hour siege on another Brit known as James Somerton. People have been accused of content stealing before but what Bomber found from these people and a few others was unique copy and pasting, ignoring sourcing, and even trying to hide the fact they did any stealing. With Internet Historian, before Bomber found even found him, the man was accused of stealing his cave diving story bar for bar from a certain article online. The person who wrote it called him out but IH simply acted half blind in first ignoring the crybaby before changing a few things in his script. Then finally, he took down the video. It sucks cause that was a really good video, but he could’ve just sourced the author first. With Somerton, the attack was brutal. Bomber would detail every specific lie Somerton told along with him hiding behind his queer label and manipulating the community’s ideas about his validity. He was just the worst person to do it and being exposed by this beloved Brit killed him. In 72 hours, Somerton would lose 56k subscribers. After suffering the Bombing, Todd in the Shadows left the shadows to post his own rampage on Somerton. Somerton would promptly be bullied off the internet and he completely logged off everything, including patreon. This defeat would be celebrated by the lefties on twitter and it was a very cool moment for Bomber who ended the video by studying the difference in stolen views. Hopefully this campaign will be a good enough attempt to ward off more content thieves. Me, all of my sources are my dreams.
X-Grok: The ‘most ingenious’ Tsar Elongated Muskrat z Muskovy has a final episode for us this month. I note this as it is a permeant reform he made in his kingdom and the noise that it spawned was not as annoying. First, since last year, with Musk’s rise into power, he decided to clean the wintery swamp by firing a good deal of the staff of Twitter. Many considered this to be bloat anyways as tech companies seldom avoid but I do feel a loss for those who were getting paid to do nothing. Everyone should be so lucky to find themselves in a position these days. After sizemaxxing Twitter, the site seemed to also decline in moderation which was apart of Musk’s policy of free speech. All the nazi, racists, and down right deplorable language previously banned on the site now had all the power to threaten the PC liberals that once felt safe. And it got worse as accounts such as “Libs of Tiktok” and “End Wokeness” got more traction when they became blue checked nobles. Not to get political, but the reasoning of any website’s well intentioned ban of their content is due to advertisement. Dorsid Twitter wanted to be advertiser-friendly (which is slightly looser than family friendly) as it was the only way the site makes money. If an advertiser doesn’t want their ads next to a Jewish question tweet, then they might pull out and Twitter loses money. Already on a deficit, Musk would potentially be more shocked as Twitter made less money with his Freedom of Speech. This is funny as before his reign, he used to always argue for less moderation on Twitter due to his own overzealous form of justice. One tweeter pointed out how Musk was making Twitter a blank slate of values with FoS only to soon find out why Dorsey used to ban such tweets at all. But Musk can’t go back on his premier policy and so the deficit continued to grow rather than moderation. It also doesn’t help that in recent years, Musk has a greater dependence on the conservative and far right in social spaces so even if he could break his policy, he’d then be backstabbing his allies. Double trouble for the Prince of the Wintery Swamp. Disney, Apple, Paramount, Comcast, Warner Bros, and IBM are just some of the other empires that have stopped using Twitter to trade.
So what does Musk do? “Save the Tweeting society Elon Musk”, scream his investors. Musk decides to sue Media Matters and other companies basically for defamation. This will be his tactic to either raise money or raise dissent against these companies for being against his free speech. Buddy is retarded. To publicize this, he also goes on a disembodied interview with Andres Ross Sorkin for The New York Times. In front of a live audience, Elon argues that these companies will rue the day they decided to bankrupt twitter with their little ‘boycott’. “Earth will know” that they ruined Twitter as Sorkin tries to give him any leverage of making a good argument. Or an understandable argument at least. Every time Sorkin did try to speak, Elon would interrupt with some adolescent quote while making a face akin to a muppet. One of those quotes was “if someone is trying to blackmail me with advertising- blackmail me with money? Go fuck yourself”. He feels proud to lose his merchants who don’t even minutely rely on him. What also didn’t help his image was tweeters catching him wear the same jacket he always does when he wants to look ‘cool’. So he would be made fun of in the usual way on his own website by all of his haters. His nobles and vassals would loyally defending him, not recognizing the mental disorder.
Moving from that, a twist of fate. Grok! Grok is an ai chatbot that Musk would to twitter as another add on to such a bandwagon. I will remind you though, ai chatbots are very basic; what makes Chat GP3 is the extensive amount of information stored into it although it is still not a google search. Now Elon has briefly worked with Chat GP3’s company Open Ai but he found differences with what they wanted. With Grok, what Elon wanted was a loose lipped chatbot that would not be policed by ‘woke media’. This is while using the same Internet that Chat GP3 uses although the unique thing about Grok was that it would answer questions in a sassy or meaner manner than the usual chatbot. It was also meant to answer anything, even questions about cocaine. For beta testing, the upper estates of Muskovy would be selected to first use the chatbot this month. To hype it up, Elon also stated it would be an ultimate truth-seeker as the name is derived from Robert A Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land where is means “to come to an understanding”. Despite the atmosphere of having a potentially right leaning bot on the right wing website; users found that the bot was…woke!? Wait, it’s left wing? As tested by several nobles who found it to recognize trans women as women and even questioned it based on the infamous Political Compress Test. In that testing, it was apparently the furthest left chatbot online. With further testing, the nobles found very specific verbage in order to get the right wing answers they wanted. From Vice, they would find that it also is not even a great truth seeker (left or right) when it sometimes reports misinformation about current events. As for the future, Elon decided that he would try to make Grok more neutral (right wing). This episode goes to show that empirically, neither twitter or Grok should be catering to the right wing.
Lethal Panera Lemonade: Kind of self explanatory. The St Louis based Panera Bread company had a new charged lemonade which would become apart of their series of falsely advertised consumption items. While called the ‘Charged Lemonade’, it was apparently not really clear how charged it was. Spoiler alert, it was supercharged with basically half the drink containing caffeine although it was not advertised as such. So last year, a college student with a heart condition (who would’ve regularly avoided the drink) downed it only to die. Her parents were quite disgusted and filed a lawsuit against the company in October this year. But more recently, a middle aged Florida man with high blood pressure also had the drink with death. He would be surprised that it was practically an energy drink despite it being labeled with the regular drinks. He also died so his family placed another lawsuit on Panera’s head. Tweeters would make fun of the drink calling it the “Panera Lemonade that kills you” but obviously my title is much more succinct. It became quite the meme during Christmas week with tweeters referencing the drink in joke post about killing santa or practically committing suicide. After all this, Panera decided to simply decrease the charge in the drink.
The Nudemeta: The gamer streaming website of Twitch has gone through various phases since coming out in 2011. The first ‘Raw Gaming’ era lasted until around 2014 where the site already had big changes. By then, they also defeated their other streaming competitors such as Youtube and Dailymotion. Along with emoting from chat, there was the acquisition from Amazon making the site a subsidiary of the empire. Twitch is actually their largest media company they own and so they have quite a huge stake in pop culture with it. With rising popularity, Twitch would fall subject to various ’meta’ or guaranteed ways to make money off the site (in case you don’t wanna just to gaming). There’s the react meta (all the react content from people like Pokimane and xQc), hot tub meta (scantily clad women like Amouranth submerged in a kiddie pool which was just barely legal), chess meta (the real game and the online one where the Botez sisters could grow in fame), sleep meta (Ludwig), and party meta (enjoyed by folks like iShowSpeed and Kai Cenat). Now there is the Nudemeta. See previously, Twitch had wanted to be an advertiser-friendly site so the limit of nudity was having a short cut top and booty shorts, practically. Nipple slips and sword wielding were ban worthy. But this shows how barely legal the hot tub meta was as a swimsuit (even with a tong bottom) was fine. Other examples include more sultry female streamers bouncing their weight bouncing across the planet or wearing tight, see-through clothing. There was even the more recent Topless Meta (led my Morgpie) where they didn’t show nipples but did not wear a shirt. This group was known as twitch thots and their streams were basically just advertisements for their Onlyfans. One rule though was that the thots had to be actively doing something like cooking, bathing in the hot tub, gaming, or painting for twitch to allow it. You can’t just be sitting there ass out like this was Chaterbate. This year Twitch moved to allowing nudity as long as streamers tagged it with that label. Then Twitch’s algorithm would only allow adults to visit such streams 😜. With the label; boobs, ass, and even the pelvis region could be shown from a real human body or from drawing giving more leniency to the thots. So much leniency, they could also do erotic dancing which was not allowed beforehand. Now they practically could do a Chaterbate stream, just without the vibrator. People would lambast it for allowing a higher sexual nature on Twitch as it was apparently easy money making for these busty women. “Mogul” Ludwig argued on the side of convenience. It was always inconvenient for Twitch to auto-ban someone who might’ve been doing something sexual or sometimes, they didn’t ban a thot who had use various available loopholes and tweeters would complain about them ruining a kid site. It’s literally not for kids but I digress.
The streamers went ham. All I saw on twitter were people’s screenshots of increasingly nude streamers testing exactly how nude they could be. I’m not sure how much was real. Well, it was not completely nude but the fearmongers still argued they were ruining the website. This was argued despite the fact that the those could not be recommended on the main page and you’d basically have to know about them to find them. Also you can still just watch whatever, most people already have preferred streamers. It did not rearrange the site as if an additional adult section was created. Streamers continued to make the same revenue…
Now it was frustrating from one angle as it was happening the same time porn advertisements became more blatant on Twitter. Since the dawn of Musk on the site, people have been getting ad deals to make a controversial tweet and then recommend a sex toy or penis pill in the replies. I don’t really know how much such advertisements worked but many of the more popular tweeters would be hired to do so. Then more recently, subtle hype posts would be made for pornstars. It would have a picture of the lady captioned something innocuous like “you won’t believe what she did” or “if you’ve seen this video, you’re going straight to hell”. The first angle entices a gooner to try to find what she did while the later relies on FOMO for a person’s reason to open the tweet. Now, she wouldn’t be tagged by the tweeter. No, she would instead just show up in the replies being like “that’s me” along with 20,000 other pornstars repeating the same thing or sharing their own porn. Twitter allows any legal porn on the site so this isn’t breaking the rules of the site but many found it to be bad behavior. Porn repliers would even show up like vultures (foreshadowing) in other big tweets from people like Corn or Wilt. They’d have the blue checkmark and make some kind of remark while replying with porn. It was a horrendous three week peak on twitter along the whole stretch of time that was much longer. Eventually, the repliers and such ads died down although they always occasionally rear their heads. I will point out the most famous lady for the subtle hype tweets was 19 year old Sophie Rain of Florida (with a power level of 3 million).
Far too many streamers tested the new moderation rules and now Twitch would backtrack. It wasn’t even two weeks. I’ve never seen stronger high school behavior. No nudity would be allowed, even behind censor bars, and even attire would be addressed. One can potentially blame Boogie for showing off his penis on stream. Now there would be more requirements for thot posting to further quarter them off in their own ghetto of the Hot Tub Section. Their thumbnails would be blurred and they could not do any sexy nonsense in the Just Chatting section or they would simply be moved over. Complaints stopped as people moved onto the next stories…
Insomni-hack: Our final gaming story…Insomniac is a video game studio producing some of the worst including Spyro the Dragon, Ratchet & Clank, Resistance, and Marvel’s Spider-Man among others. It is based in Burbank, California with Ted Price as their CEO since day 1. They work primarily with the PlayStation console (a part of the Sony Empire) and these games feature usually interesting movement options for the player and realistic designs. Now unfortunately, the ‘Rhysida’ pirates would hack into their database and take a few files hostage for ransom. They demanded 2 million (in bitcoin) else the information would be released. This information would come to include employee files and game files for the upcoming Wolverine game. The information accounted for over 1 terabytes of data which would slowly be released on Twitter and other sites as Insomniac decided not to pay the ransom. The gamers did NOT like this. The hacking? No, nobody is talking about that. They don’t like the leaks being released.
The Wolverine game, in a completely embryonic state, looked like dogshit. This isn’t what was in previous trailers. Are they making this with 2000 year old technology? Holy shit this looks so ugly and unfinished. And the gameplay sounds so boring. Not infiltration missions yet again, we hated that in the Spider-Man games.
These were the opinions of the gamers as they came across the leaks. Now some wiser members of the community pointed out that the game wasn’t going to come out anywhere near soon so obviously it looked unfinished. Some also defended the gameplay elements as we don’t really know the story and Wolverine is actually a really good stealth character. There was also information on other games and such but everything else seemed to be ignored. That’s cool.
Time for the final regular episode of this season:
Vultures: “Kanye released”, “Kanye is back”, “there’s a new Kanye”. These were repeated words that came out of certain Kanye fan’s mouths as he announced the release of a new album; Vultures. While that sounds like a pretty hard name, simply following Kanye’s discography like a tv show, it sounds like there will be another tight right turn into some crazy arc akin to the religious Ye arc. Thing is, the news wasn’t released with the greatest advertisement in the background. Late in December, Afro-American Kanye Omari West of Atlanta would be found in an Instragam video posted by YesJulz (a Miami talent agent manager) of a grand speech during his listening party. I guess while they were talking about Vultures, Kanye got real excited to show his reversion into nazism. No read it correctly, its naz-ye-ism. This man had a nearly ten minute Minnieyapolis promotion of his new third party with savior Jesus Christ and fuhrer Adolf Hitler as his left and right hands for the next election. He had his denouncements about hypocrites in media, those who use his image, and peers of his who might not step up with him. He also discussed his conspiracies and his philosophies about the society that surrounds him. Some quotes include
“I made more money to show you that money ain’t nothing- its our money nigga, its our country nigga. It’s pyramids…” before breaking into a detour about pilgrims and jews
“The French own 80% of the banks in Africa nigga. That’s why I just met with MBS and had wasabi nigga. We don’t have to bow down to this shit- okay, its 60 million of us in America and 60 million Jews in the world. 50% of our deaths is abortion, 25% of us go to prison.” from like ten seconds of talking.
After damming all the previous companies he’s worked with before (who stopped working with him because of his antisemitism form exactly 1 year ago), the live audience started to get a bit rowdy so he said, “EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP, let me tell you something right now…” bro you BEEN telling us something. He didn’t even take a break. “All you niggas are wit me but I’m by my fucking self, ain’t any of y’all niggas that stand up for me” and someone protested for a moment but he warned them, “be quiet before you got exiled.”
It should be noted that a main theme in his speech is that he feels truly isolated from everyone, even those at his party listening to his music. No one in the music industry, media, online, or whatever is with Kanye or supports him in anyway. He believes himself to be in complete solitude despite having a new girlfriend, millions of closeted fans, and while he always surrounds himself with one or two people. Even the new album is a collab with Ty Dolla Sign so he didn’t work on it alone. But all these people cannot teach him about love. Those at the listening party vocally agree with this sentiment, that he is alone, although only in a way you try to temper a toddler having a tantrum. Still, some were wholeheartedly agreeing with him but any uproar positive or negative from the crowd caused him to shut them up. He didn’t want them to agree with him because he wanted to keep talking, potentially to find something they can’t agree with. It would seem he actually needs to be left alone.
He then goes onto describe his philosophy on how society currently stands. Apparently God > millennium families like Medici > the Pope and the Catholic Church > finances like Vanguard > world leaders like Putin and Trump > entertainment industry. “Take that, run that back, run it in schools”, run what. What are you talking about? Also, funnily, the Medici’s and the Papacy have a checkered history but the former is not a millennium old.
But never mind, he has a last point (made with no transition), about his divorce lawyer. “A nigga I knew said I couldn’t have an opinion or I wouldn’t see my kids. Y’all know who you’re fucking playing with? This is a vessel of God, he gonna burn all of your shit down I swear. I knew these niggas was tryna make ‘Surviving Ye’ (incomprehensible), that’s why I set it up while I still in the high schools. Bill Cosby couldn’t do shit by the time they got him. R Kelly couldn’t do shit by the time they got him. That’s why I had to set it up, the same niggas who make us rich is the same niggas who make our documentaries. And FUCK Cudi, fuck you cause everybody saw that third episode. That’s what the whole shit was about. ‘We selling opioids’, I’m not even bipolar (the world’s most bipolar man) and I only had signs of autism since the accident. They gonna hit me with the fucking medication n have me selling opioids for them. They made me the face of bipolar- okay nigga, then where my royalties nigga? All the fucking drugs that you sold off the idea of Ye being bipolar.”
He wasn’t finished but then YesJulz said something to the effect of, “you’re fucking insane” and so he kicked her out and the video would end there. Other clips of the event show that a moment later he asks, “you think I’m like crazy?” before going off on how he wasn’t black but Indian and Native American and everything.
Now the chat during YesJulz’s little livestream was the usual confluence of Kanye fans. Some parts were actually supportive calling him King, others were ironically supportive saying “wait let him cook”, others do not like this mental break of his asking him to stop (or asking her to stop streaming), and still others were just laughing along waiting for the new music. Besides that though, not too many memes spawned from this Vultures Speech. One thing to note is the relation to the ongoing Israel-Hamas conflict, where certain Ye fans would compliment the man for warning them that the Jews were really in control of any media. Since Israel wasn’t the best source on their little extermination program, many people on both sides of the political aisle have grown to distrust them. That includes the third party of Kanye that somehow predicted this one year ago. I guess I am happy they are aware of potential propaganda even if it came from the Insane Man.
The album still wouldn’t be released for a few weeks but it was announced as an upcoming trilogy. A single was released and then a series of seemingly leaked unproduced songs. The single was “Everybody” featuring Ty Dolla Sign, obviously. It included the most popular meme from this single.
“Everybody waiting for me to say the wrong thing. Okay you the king, Burger King.”
There was also this line, “when I talk to the shrink, you better not blink. 99 problems started with the kink. One in the pink, one in the stink. When you have it down, is it still mink?”
Lyrics like these ruptured any hype for Vultures despite the opening of the song having a very good mix. He would be on fraud watch until that shit finally released.
tdwriter 